Skip Navigation

A Close Read

What makes good writing good

By Christina Schwarz

“More and more toast, slice after slice, wholewheat and heavy and lavish with butter—even Beth chews and swallows and reaches for more until soon a whole loaf has, like Philip, vanished. Crumbs lie scattered over three black laps and the pine tabletop and the blue-tiled floor at their feet, and still they are hungry. People don’t stock groceries with such ravenous emergencies in mind, so when their collective desires shift to the sweet they do not have on hand the chocolate ice cream, vanilla cakes, muffins flecked with raisins, cookies stuffed with jam, also butter tarts, also cinnamon rolls, that they crave. Even Beth lusts after sugar despite considering sugar, like coffee, ruinous.”

—from Luck, by Joan Barfoot (Carroll & Graf)

Barfoot’s writing is exuberant, packed with active verbs. Beth doesn’t merely eat; she “chews and swallows and reaches.” The author’s use of past participles, verbs transformed into adjectives, peps up her list of sweets: “muffins flecked with raisins, cookies stuffed with jam.” In general, she keeps her adjectives basic and unqualified, giving them the boldness of primary colors or whole notes: “black,” “pine,” “blue-tiled,” “chocolate,” “vanilla,” “butter,” “cinnamon.” Her repetition of “more and more,” “slice after slice,” and “wholewheat” and “whole,” her plethora of “and”s in the first sentence, her unconventional repetition of the word “also” in the penultimate sentence—they all mimic the abundance she describes, as does her use of lists in every sentence but the last. She composes these with an admirable ear, artfully grouping similar structures but often shifting those structures so that the effect is both lavish—to borrow one of her pleasing words—and lively. More subtly, Barfoot links the lavish loaf and the vanished Philip by using words similar in sound, and calls attention to the ties among “lust,” “sugar,” and “ruinous” in the final sentence by repeating the letter “u.” “Ruinous” also echoes “ravenous,” a transferred epithet that is disconcerting syntactically, just as the loss of Philip is existentially.

Christina Schwarz is the author of the novels Drowning Ruth and All Is Vanity.
Presented by

More at The Atlantic

Public Service Announcement: Clean Your Computer Immediately Public Service Announcement: Clean Your Computer Now
Infographic: The Average Person Gets 9,672 Minor Injuries in a Lifetime The Average Person Gets 9,672 Minor Injuries in a Lifetime
Why Won't Mitt Romney Disavow Birther Donald Trump? Why Won't Mitt Romney Disavow Donald Trump?
How Headphones Changed the World How Headphones Changed the World
Mario Batali on 'Sadistic' TV and Martha Stewart on Raising Chickens Mario Batali on 'Sadistic' TV and Martha Stewart on Raising Chickens

Join the Discussion

After you comment, click Post. If you’re not already logged in you will be asked to log in or register.
blog comments powered by Disqus

The Biggest Story in Photos

Olympic Portraits, Part I: American Athletes

May 30, 2012
No Gatorade: Celebrating New York City's Pick-up Basketball Scene
Watch More Video

On Newsstands Now

Subscribe and SAVE 59%
10 issues JUST $2.45/COPY

The Atlantic Monthly

David H. Freedman on smartphone apps and the perfected self, Mark Bowden on being in the dumb kids' class, James Parker on Glenn Beck, Isaac Chotiner on P. G. Wodehouse, and more

Browse back issues of The Atlantic that have appeared on the Web. From September 1995 to the present, the archive is essentially complete, with the exception of a few articles, the online rights to which are held exclusively by the authors.

See All Back Issues: September 1995
To The Present »

Premium Archive

For a small fee you can now access more than a century of Atlantic Monthly articles in our online archive. The archive includes articles from 1857 to the present.

Prices » | Login for Saved Items » | Help »

Sort by:
Dates:
From: 
To: 
Author:  (optional)
Title:  (optional)

Facebook

Newsletters

Sign up to receive our free newsletters

(sample)

(sample)

(sample)

(sample)

(sample)

(sample)