Who's Who

A selective index to this month's issue
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Volume 297 no. 1 / Jan.-Feb. 2006

Adelaide, princess, whooping cough of, 12

Aguilera, Christina, as melisma junkie, 196

Akkad, Moustapha, movie producer, as victim of jihad, 206; "professional schizophrenia" of, 207

Ali, Muhammad, as bargaining chip, 207

Anka, Paul, as "Smells Like Teen Spirit" interpreter, 196

Arioli, Susie, Canadian jazz singer, "yummy" voice of, 198

Auden, W. H., as teen idol, 156

Barnes, Julian, virtuosity of, 179

Barry, Marion, as hostage, 207

Bartoloni, Adriano, as papal paparazzo, 46

Bell, Alexander Graham, Canadian appropriation of, 194

Bennett, Tony, as MTV fixture, 195

Bergoglio, Jorge Maria, cardinal, as papal also-ran, 64-66, 89; as chemist, 89; as rider of the bus, 89

Bernanke, Ben, incoming Fed chair, scrutability of, 15

Bishop, Elizabeth, unpublished poems of, 126; Nova Scotian roots of, 192

Blume, Judy, as sex-ed teacher, 170-173

Brooks, Randy, Nova Scotia PR man, kilt of, 189

Brown, Louise Joy, first test-tube baby, birth of, 91, 133

Bryan, William Jennings, land-use prophecy of, 130

Buchanan, Pat, as culture warrior, 134

Buddha, Ohio residence of, 154

Buffett, Warren, as Cherry Coke consumer, 150

Bush, George W., prospective library of, 120-124

Bush, Jeb, as Vatican emissary, 91

Carey, Mariah, as melisma junkie, 196

Churchill, Winston, as savior of empire, 183; American mother of, 184

Clinton, Bill, moral obesity of, 154

Collins, Billy, star-spangled versifying of, 95

Comfort, Alex, joyful sexologist, as culture warrior, 132

Connery, Sean, as silver-screen Saladin, 206

Connick, Harry Jr., unfulfilled promise of, 197

Cooper, Anderson, as porn-star interrogator, 179

Copeland, Jo, fashion designer, parenting skills of, 169; sweatlessness of, 169

Cowell, Simon, on fame epidemic, 196

Cummings, E. E., star-spangled versifying of, 95

Dick, Philip K., as media critic, 12

Dickinson, Emily, star-spangled versifying of, 94

Dole, Bob, overripeness of, 154

Dukakis, Michael, as ground cover, 154

Dulles, Avery, cardinal, on desert nature of Quebec, 88

Edalji, George, Dreyfusian plight of, 179; as alleged pony mutilator, 179

Edward VIII, buttery likeness of, 183

Evers, Ridgley, on teenage olive oil, 202

Fawcett, Farrah, lackluster nurturing skills of, 169

Flynt, Larry, as Jackie O exhibitor, 46; as culture warrior, 133

Frank, Anne, as sex-ed teacher, 171

Freud, Sigmund, on erotic force of wonder, 22; exile of, 185

Frost, Robert, as JFK honoree, 62; star-spangled versifying of, 94

Gantin, Bernardin, cardinal, royal African roots of, 76

Garritano, Settimo, paparazzo, as undercover gardener, 46; as Jackie O pursuer, 46

Gehry, Frank, cookie-cutter cosmopolitanism of, 161

George V, dubious last words of, 184

Gielgud, John, Bedouin star turn of, 206

Gingrich, Newt, moral obesity of, 154

Gore, Tipper, anti-obscenity listening tour of, 133, 178

Greene, Graham, as Katrina forecaster, 145

Hamilton, Alexander, posthumous ruling of, 49; undemocratic impulses of, 144

Hamza, Luqman, jazz singer, top-shelf diction of, 198

Hardy, Oliver, Jamesian resonances of, 184

Hawthorne, Nathaniel, as war correspondent, 12

Hibbs, Mark, journalist, as nuclear gumshoe, 100-118; intense ordinariness of, 100; professional loneliness of, 102

Horton, Tim, as north-of-the-border doughnut-slinger, 193

Hutton, Barbara, as implicit conquerer of Britain, 187

Hyde, Anthony, as bard of Halifax, 192

Jahn, Helmut, Chicago architect, trademark cape of, 160

Jesus, as Anglophone, 155

John Paul II, as paparazzo target, 46; old brown shoes of, 64; Liberacean fashions of, 72; poor administrative skills of, 80; dubious last words of, 84; mosh-pit memorial of, 84; unclonability of, 90

Jones, Mrs. Bo Jo, as modern-day Hester Prynne, 172, 176

Jones, Norah, tepidity of, 197

Kasper, Walter, theologian, as "Kasper the Friendly Cardinal," 90

Katrina, hurricane, as Mardi Gras killjoy, 15

Kennedy, John F., as arts patron, 62

Khan, Abdul Quadeer, as fame addict, 98; as hotelier, 114; self-criticism session of, 116

Khan, Imran, Pakistani cricket star, on subcontinental celebrity, 98

Kipling, Rudyard, American wife of, 184

Krall, Diana, jazz singer, "endless legs" of, 195; Basingerian aspect of, 195; spotty rhythm of, 195

Lasch, Christopher, on meritocratic aristocracy, 145

Lauper, Cyndi, as jazz singer, 196

Laurel, Stan, Jamesian resonances of, 184

Lawrence, T. E., as IED innovator, 44-46

Lincoln, Abraham, as Atlantic endorsee, 57-58

MacNeil, Robert, NewsHour veteran, as Nova Scotia novelist, 192

Martini, Carlo Maria, cardinal, as papal also-ran, 64, 89; as Parkinson's sufferer, 89

Marx, Karl, as family man, 154; on globalism, 161

McFerrin, Bobby, unfulfilled promise of, 197

McGraw, Dr. Phil, "vast, impenetrable physique" of, 174; as oral-sex inquisitor, 174

Mitchell, Joni, as jazz singer, 196

Montesquieu, Baron de, as last resort, 58

Mosley, Sir Oswald, British fascist, fleeting popularity of, 185

Myers, Michael, Halloween villain, lost head of, 207

O'Neal, Ryan, as resentful father, 169; Oscar boycott of, 169; as boxing hobbyist, 169

Onassis, Jackie, nude sunbathing of, 46

Özakman, Turgut, as Michener of the Turks, 187

Page, Patti, as Woodstock headliner, 154

Pell, George, Aussie archbishop, as "Ratzinger's campaign manager," 81; trademark bush hat of, 81

Philbin, Regis, as jazz singer, 196

Pius XII, debilitating hiccups of, 80

Podhoretz, Norman, as Beat critic, 130

Qaddafi, Muammar, aborted nuclear program of, 115; as film financier, 206

Queen Latifah, as jazz singer, 196

Ramey, Phil, photographer, as "chopperazzo," 46

Ratzinger, Joseph, as Benedict XVI, 64-92; as buyer of light bulbs, 70; as feeder of stray cats, 70; Orangina intake of, 70; as sculptor, 92; as "man from a far country," 92

Ronstadt, Linda, as "singer zero" of jazz epidemic, 198

Roosevelt, Franklin D., as SEC godfather, 57

Roosevelt, Theodore, on "hurly-burly," 62

Roth, Philip, as culture warrior, 132; as sex-ed teacher, 172

Rowling, J. K., Turkish following of, 187

Ruditis, Paul, novelist, teen priapism posited by, 169; as Brady Bunch chronicler, 176

Ruini, Camillo, vicar of Rome, as papal also-ran, 64

Saakashvili, Mikhail, Georgian president, as Kennedy compadre, 149

Secchiaroli, Tazio, as ur-paparazzo, 46

Simpson, Wallis, as empire-wrecker, 183-184

Smith, Ali, novelist, as neither Zadie Smith nor Monica Ali, 173

Springsteen, Bruce, as vessel of public opinion, 155

Starr, Kenneth, as smut peddler, 176

Stern, Howard, as no match for Oprah, 174

Stevens, John Paul, as sub rosa chief justice, 48-49

Stevenson, Robert Louis, service ethic of, 204

Stewart, Rod, as jazz singer, 196

Stowe, Harriet Beecher, as Judy Blume forerunner, 170

Thoreau, Henry David, as telegraph skeptic, 12; metaphysical patience of, 22

Twain, Mark, respectable clowning of, 12

Victoria, queen, vicious grandson of, 183

Walz, Tim, National Guard veteran, as congressional hopeful, 40

Waugh, Evelyn, as social historian, 186

Whitman, Walt, star-spangled versifying of, 94

Williams, Vanessa, disgraced Miss America, abdication of, 133

Williams, William Carlos, star-spangled versifying of, 95

Wilson, A. N., on terminal unflappability of the British, 185

Wilson, Woodrow, as Fed architect, 57; on "capital fellow So-and-So," 58; on power of provincialism, 58-60

Winfrey, Oprah, oral-sex alarmism of, 173-176

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Benjamin Healy is an Atlantic Monthly deputy managing editor.

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