Who's Who

Volume 295 no. 4 / May 2005

Abbas, Mahmoud, as Holocaust denier, 29; as democrat, 30

Achilles, as race-car driver, 78

Adair, Red, firefighter, as corporate-bailout artist, 38; as movie star, 38

Adamson, Andrew, director, as Shreksmith, 40; as Aslan interpreter, 40

Algren, Nelson, lowlifes and, 74; namesake street of, 74; as de Beauvoir paramour, 74

Allred, Owen, renegade polygamist, as Vegas operator, 142; Belize and, 142; as money launderer, 142; endless grandchildren of, 142; as "not your father's patriarch," 142

Andretti, Mario, as hallowed name, 78

Anschutz, Philip, billionaire, inscrutability of, 36-40; as film impresario, 36-40; as Presbyterian, 36-40; as art collector, 36; as soccer magnate, 36; as newspaperman, 36; as wildcatter, 38; used Buick of, 38; as idealist, 40; as lobotomy candidate, 40

Antonio, merchant of Venice, Social Security and, 42

Arafat, Yasir, uterine weaponry of, 30

Aslan, maned messiah, as matinee idol, 40

Atwood, Margaret, as Filene's Basement laureate, 119

Aunt Tilly, creeping obsolescence of, 98

Austen, Jane, as baseball innovator, 59

Bardot, Brigitte, as reference point, 82

Barnum, P. T., as mummy fabricator, 62

Barth, John, on literary exhaustion, 115; kindergarteners and, 120

Booth, John Wilkes, eerie bystanding of, 124

Boulding, Kenneth, economist, crustiness of, 98

Brooks, Mel, as Brooklynite, 86

Brown, John, abolitionist, ample sanity of, 121-126; fertility of, 122; as Cromwell fan, 123; as player of hardball, 123-126; Baconian ubiquity of, 124

Buchanan, Pat, synthetic outrage of, 90; as nativist, 90; as un-American, 90

Bunny, Bugs, as half of Hollywood's soul, 127

Burnham, Daniel Hudson, as Windy City Hausmann, 74

Bush, George W., as heeder of invisible bugles, 64; Oedipal complexity of, 64-66; goading laughter of, 66; as frustrated dilettante, 66; as lover of backfiring cars, 66; blessedness of, 66; foreordination of, 128

Bush, Laura, finicky tastes of, 40

Cameron, James, as documentarian, 40; as guerrilla, 130; as shipping magnate, 130

Capone, Al, as jazz connoisseur, 74

Capra, Frank, as flag-waver, 55

Carey, Mariah, banishment of, 111-112

Carlyle, Thomas, as mixed bag, 123

Chambrin, Pierre, White House chef, irredeemable Frenchness of, 40

Charles, Ray, as speechwriter, 76

Clinton, Hillary, as Koch crony, 88; as Terminator villain, 132

Coleman, Norm, senator, as outreach coordinator, 88; yuppie blondness of, 88; lupine smile of, 88

Collier, Bonnie, bra-borne contraband of, 142

Confucius, as man's man, 45

Cromwell, Oliver, as American Revolution ancestor, 123

Daley, Richard, snug tuxedo of, 74

Daschle, Linda, arrhythmic movements of, 84

Daschle, Tom, kisses of, 82; short trousers of, 82; as ghost dancer, 84; as "worst human being in America," 84

De Grey, Aubrey, theoretical geneticist, mousebound immortality and, 92

Dickens, Charles, restraint of, 116

Doubleday, Abner, as father of baseball, 58; as no such thing, 59

Duck, Daffy, as half of Hollywood's soul, 127; chronic thwartedness of, 127

Ebbers, Bernard, as totem of corporate chicanery, 36

Field, Sally, dullness of, 131

Foer, Jonathan Safran, frantic clowning of, 115-120; mating tortoises and, 119

Foyt, A. J., as hallowed name, 78

Gaines, Steven, as pop micro-sociologist, 111-112; as smut peddler, 111; as Stockholm-syndrome sufferer, 112

Gallo, Vincent, bug-flecked windshield of, 117

Garrison, William Lloyd, Paisley pattern of, 121

Gates, Bill, sheltered perch of, 100

Goldberg, Rube, as film exec, 128

Goldstein, Joshua, demographer, on thirtysomething adolescents, 98

Goldwyn, Samuel, quacking of, 127

Gore, Al, Motor City momentum of, 66

Haller, Henry, White House chef, as poacher of landmark egg, 40

Hammurabi, as feminist, 24

Harrison, Jim, novelist, on wolf's humanity to man, 85; as jet-lag enthusiast, 85; swashbuckling face of, 86

Hector, as race-car driver, 78

Hegel, G.W.F., as hooker ventriloquist, 124

Hemingway, Ernest, irritating eminence of, 85

Hilfiger, Tommy, as smooth talker, 111

Hood, Robin, Social Security and, 42

Isaiah, as abolitionist, 121

Ishiguro, Kazuo, eponymic elusiveness of, 123; "inky bleakness" of, 123

Jenner, Edward, milkmaids and, 26

Johnson, Lyndon, earthy appetites of, 40

Kass, Leon, bioethicist, on dangers of protracted youth, 98-99; numbered days of, 99

Kennedy, John F., Gallic pretensions of, 40; presidential training of, 66

Kerry, John, minibar preferences of, 78

Kim Jong Chol, Dear Leader candidate, glorified mother of, 44; sanctifying alias of, 44; as "like a girl," 44

Kim Jong Il, succession plan of, 44-45

Kim Jong Nam, Dear Leader candidate, as tiller of manure, 44; defective relatives of, 44; as Disney fan, 44

Koch, Ed, as Bush Democrat, 88; stubborn nostalgia of, 88

Lay, Kenneth, as totem of corporate chicanery, 36

Lewis, C. S., as screenwriter, 36, 40

Leyner, Mark, novelist, as cereal wrangler, 119

Lucas, George, godlike fallibility of, 131

Luntz, Frank, GOP pollster, as object of Democratic envy, 46; as master of the obvious, 46

Maimonides, on swine, 134

Mandell, Mort, as pillar of Cleveland, 64

Marinetti, Filippo, Italian futurist, as crumpled refuse, 100

Marx, Karl, on ideology, 89; as American prophet, 89

McAllester, Matthew, war correspondent, as suspected spy, 107; Abu Ghraib confinement of, 107

Means, Russell, as friend of Brando, 84; activism of, 84; as Bush supporter, 84; large fax machine of, 84; as watercolorist, 84; Moonies and, 84; competitive victimhood and, 84-85

Murakami, Haruki, bewitching strangeness of, 124

Nixon, Richard, just dessert of, 40; as beginning of the end, 85-86

O'Hara, John, lingering relevance of, 111

Obama, Barack, as "black Clinton," 76

Orwell, George, as Blitz bard, 112

Patton, George, as gas guzzler, 34

Peck, Dale, selective outrage of, 116

Pepys, Samuel, naval career of, 114

Perón, Juan, staying power of, 100

Pierce, Franklin, decrepitude of, 123

Powell, Anthony, as Blitz bard, 112

Qin Shihuang, terra-cotta army of, 127; as Oscar contender, 127

Reagan, Ronald, as deinstitutionalizer, 74; Star Wars prophecy of, 128; celluloid values of, 132

Rodger, N.A.M., naval historian, staggering erudition of, 112-114; on shipboard wives, 114; on suckling goats, 114; acerbic bibliography of, 114

Rokeach, Israel, kosher soapmaker, 136

Rommel, Erwin, as gas guzzler, 34

Sanders, Colonel, as pimp, 124

Santorum, Rick, childlike need of to please, 88; as Catholic, 88; as Zionist, 88

Schwarzenegger, Arnold, socialist (sic) youth of, 89; as Bugs Bunny, 132; contempt for losers harbored by, 132; seamy side of, 132; off-road grammar of, 132; pay-as-you-go misogyny of, 132

Sentelle, David, judge, as man who would hurt a fly, 50

Sharon, Ariel, bloody past of, 29; French Jews and, 84

Sizemore, Tom, Whizzinator of, 50

Smith, Anna Nicole, quivering mobility of, 92; as harbinger of the future, 92; trophy husband of, 92

Smith, Michael W., star-spangled muse of, 55

Sparks, Nicholas, as recipient of no respect, 119

Spooner, Lysander, breathtaking name of, 121; as abolitionist, 121

Stalin, Joseph, staying power of, 100; as relative guerrilla, 130

Stone, Lawrence, historian, on divorce as death substitute, 99

Strobel, Lee, self-help guru, 75; faith-based weight-loss program of, 75; exuberant signature of, 75

Thorpe, Jim, as movie fodder, 40

Tocqueville, Alexis de, footsteps of, 54-89

Trump, Donald, as centenarian, 96

Van Damme, Jean-Claude, as inspiration, 108

Verdon, Rene, White House chef, redemptive Frenchness of, 40

Walker, Johnnie, as cat-killer, 124

Weinstein, Harvey, as Daffy Duck, 127

Witherspoon, Reese, ad hoc vivacity of, 128

Yamada, Masahiro, Japanese sociologist, on "parasite singles," 98