Verbatim March 2005

Rather's Familiar Quotations

More

When Dan Rather gives up the CBS News anchor's chair this month, viewers will have to say good-bye to the bizarre colloquialisms that have peppered his broadcasts. A selection:

"Well, we've said it many times—if a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a handgun."

"Are your fingernails beginning to sweat?"

"Let's hit these biscuits with a dab of gravy."

"I know that you'd rather walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit than consider the possibility that John Kerry would lose Ohio."

"This [race] is as tight as the rusted lug nuts on a '55 Ford."

"… it's Spandex tight."

"… closer than Lassie and Timmy."

"… shakier than cafeteria Jell-O."

"This race is as hot and tight as a too-small bathing suit on a too-long car ride home from the beach."

"Frankly, we don't know whether to run, to watch, or to bark at the moon."

"Turn the lights down—the party just got wilder."

"He swept through the South like a tornado through a trailer park."

"No question now that Kerry's rapidly reaching the point where he's got his back to the wall, his shirttails on fire, and the bill collectors at the door."

"His chances are slim right now, and if he doesn't carry Florida, slim will have left town."

"Sip it, savor it, cup it, photostat it, underline it in red, put it in an album, hang it on the wall: George Bush is the next president of the United States."

"When the going gets weird, anchormen punt."

Jump to comments
Presented by
Get Today's Top Stories in Your Inbox (preview)

What Is the Greatest Story Ever Told?

A panel of storytellers share their favorite tales, from the Bible to Charlotte's Web.


Elsewhere on the web

Join the Discussion

After you comment, click Post. If you’re not already logged in you will be asked to log in or register. blog comments powered by Disqus

Video

The Death of Film

You'll never hear the whirring sound of a projector again.

Video

How to Hunt With Poison Darts

A Borneo hunter explains one of his tribe's oldest customs: the art of the blowpipe

Video

A Delightful, Pixar-Inspired Cartoon

An action figure and his reluctant sidekick trek across a kitchen in search of treasure.

Video

I Am an Undocumented Immigrant

"I look like a typical young American."

Video

Why Did I Study Physics?

Using hand-drawn cartoons to explain an academic passion

Writers

Up
Down

More in Entertainment

More back issues, Sept 1995 to present.

Just In