Not long ago, during a trip to Albuquerque, I had the chance to attend a basketball game at the University of New Mexico's fabled underground arena, The Pit. I was in the company of my fourteen-year-old son, Tim, and as the Lobos had their shoot-around before the game, Tim pointed out a certain player and gave me a brief history of his run-ins with the National Collegiate Athletic Association, an entity often described as "the governing body of college sport." This led to a more generalized philippic against the uneven justice and perceived hypocrisy of the NCAA on such matters as recruiting and eligibility. I noticed that the phrase "the governing body of college sport" began to be used with a distinctly ironic inflection.
As the commentary continued, the University of New Mexico Spirit Group—that is, the cheerleaders—skipped onto the floor. Some schools (Alabama, Georgia State, Jacksonville State) offer scholarships for cheerleading, and I couldn't help wondering whether cheerleaders run into the kinds of issues that basketball players do. Are they lured to particular schools with dubious incentives? Are any of them performing at the college level despite a previous stint in the pros? Do other students write their term papers?
Apparently not, I eventually learned. But cheerleaders do have a governing body of their own: the American Association of Cheerleading Coaches and Advisors. And the AACCA has laid down strict rules. "Toe pitch, leg pitch or walk-in and 'smoosh' front and back flips are prohibited." "Single based split catches are prohibited." The AACCA provides a toll-free number to call "if you have any questions regarding the legality of a specific skill."
This is not, clearly, a governing body to be trifled with.
Human beings first learned to walk on two feet; then they mastered fire; after that, anthropologists tell us, they invented bylaws and elected a recording secretary. By now governing bodies are the most abundant institutions we have—they are the junk DNA of social organization. Every day brings word of their doings. In November the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers—the governing body that oversees domain names—voted to introduce seven new suffixes, including .info, .biz, and .pro. In January the Book-of-the-Month Club revealed that it would soon bring back to life its famous panel of literary judges. At the White House a new entity, with the unrevealing name Office of Strategic Initiatives, headed by Karl Rove, is likely to become the governing body for the Bush Administration's political machinations all across the land.
By definition, many governing bodies are occupied with the tasks of government. The old names roll across the tongue like poetry: althing, majlis, junta, durbar, duma, cortes, divan, troika, witan. Some are never seen in public without an adjectival aide-de-camp. The papal curia, the governing body of the Holy See, is always "inscrutable" or "impenetrable." The Komiteh, which enforces Islamic regulations in Iran, is always "the fearsome Komiteh." Ethiopia was long ruled by something called the Derg, generally referred to in conjunction with "shadowy." The very sound of the name "Derg" suggests that if ever called before it, you would look in vain in your Amharic phrasebook for the words "due process." The collapse of communism has brought the demise of many government organs ("the ruling politburo"), but some totalitarian bodies persist—for example, the condo association.
Alexis de Tocqueville observed that Americans can't resist bringing the procedures of government into their private affairs. Livestock branding, boiler inspecting, kosher labeling, roller-blading, movie rating, body piercing, standardized testing—there seems to be a governing body for everything. Even the Jehovah's Witnesses, long resistant to traditional forms of church hierarchy, have a governing body (it's called, appropriately, The Governing Body). The federal government, of course, remains our largest single repository of governing bodies. Utter a place name, and you're under the purview of the United States Board on Geographic Names, the group responsible for a near total official ban on apostrophes. ("Martha's Vineyard" is one of only four exceptions.) Employ a ramp or curb cut, and you're under the purview of the federal Access Board. But the fastest growth of governing bodies is in the private sector, and it affects everyone. The computer typefaces that most of us use derive from an in-house group at Microsoft, which developed a governing body of Character Design Standards. An educational body called the Incoming Calls Management Institute serves, in effect, as the procedural arbiter of the "call center" industry. That is, it promotes standards for the people who answer the phones whenever a customer-service number is dialed. (The institute's Web site includes a glossary in which the definition of the term "Average Speed of Answer" begins with the words "Also called Average Delay.")