MY grandfather, who lost his short-term memory sometime during the first Eisenhower Administration, calls me into his study because he wants to tell me the story he's never told anybody before again. My grandmother, from her perch at her beauty table, with the oval mirror circled by little bulbs I used to love to unscrew, shouts, "Oh, for God's sake, Seymour. We're meeting the Dewoskins at Twin Orchards at seven-thirty. Must you go back to the South Pacific?"
My grandfather slams the door and motions me to the chair in front of his desk. I'll be thirteen in two weeks. "There's something I want to tell you, son," he says. "Something I've never told anybody. You think you're ready? You think you've got the gumption?"
"I think so."
"I know so, sir. I know I've got the gumption."
He sits down at his desk and rips open an envelope with a gleaming letter opener in the shape of a miniature gold sword. "So, you want to know?"
"Well then, stand up, sailor."
My grandfather's study is carpeted with white shag, which feels woolly against my bare feet. I twist my toes in it. Many cactuses are also in the room. My grandfather often encourages me to touch their prickers to demonstrate how tough an old boy a plant can be. My grandfather captained a destroyer during World War II.
"It was late," he says. "Someone knocked on my stateroom door. I leaped up. In those days I slept in uniform -- shoes, too." My grandfather smiles. His face is so perfectly round that his smile looks like a gash in a basketball. I smile back.
"Don't smile," he says. "Just because I'm smiling, don't assume I couldn't kill you right now. Know that about a man."
"Oh, Seymour, my God," my grandmother protests through the door. "Isn't he supposed to be at summer camp, anyway? Call his mother."
He looks straight at me and snarls at her, "Another word out of you, ensign, and I'll have you thrown in the brig, and you won't see Beanie Dewoskin till V-J Day."
"I'll make coffee," my grandmother says.
"It was late," I say. "Someone knocked."
"Two knocks," he says. "And by the time he raised his knuckle for the third, I'd opened the door. 'A message from the watch, sir. A boat, sir, three miles due north. Very small, sir. Could be an enemy boat, sir; then again, it might not be. Hard to tell, sir.' I told the boy to can it. Some messengers don't know when to take a breath and let you think. They think if you aren't saying anything, you want to hear more, which is never true. Remember that. I went up to the bridge. 'Wait,' I told them. 'Wait till we can see it. And ready the torpedoes,' I told them, or something like that. I forget the lingo."
"The torpedoes?" I say.
"Yes," he says. "The torpedoes. I couldn't see it clearly, but the chance that it wasn't a hostile boat was slim. You see what I'm driving at?"
"I do, sir."
"No, you don't, sailor."
"No, I don't," I say. "Don't at all."
"We'd been warned in a communiqué from the admiral to be on high alert for kamikaze flotillas. Do you have any idea what a kamikaze flotilla is?"
"Basically," I say, "it hits the side of your boat, and whango."
"You being smart with me? You think this isn't life and death we're talking about here?"
"So I waited. It took about a half hour on auxiliary power for us to get within a quarter mile of the thing -- then I could see it with the search."
My grandfather pauses and then opens his right-hand desk drawer, where he keeps a safety-locked pistol and a stack of tattered pornographic comic books. They are strange books. In the cartoons men with long penises with hats on the ends of them and hair growing up the sides, so that to me they look like pickles, chase women with skirts raised over their heads and tattoos on their asses that say things like "Uncle Sam's my Daddy" and "I never kissed a Kaiser." He whacks the drawer shut and brings his hands together in front of his face, moving his thumbs around as if he's getting ready either to pray or to thumb-wrestle.