The most important issue facing our economy and our future as a nation is obviously, do Palestinians exist? Newt Gingrich, for one, thinks this is a very important question. So do I. Therefore, I would like to give my answer to the question in this very public venue: Yes, Palestinians exist. I've seen them with my own two eyes. I've seen them in their cities, I've seen them in their villages. I've seen them on the beaches, I've seen them eating peaches. I've seen them in cars, I've even seen them in bars. Gay bars in Tel Aviv, to be exact. Ah, you might ask, what was Goldblog, a known heterosexual, doing in a gay bar in Tel Aviv? Well, how was Goldblog supposed to know it was a gay bar? Okay, the Palestinian dude grinding his shwarma against the Israeli dude was a clue. But I often miss such clues. I visited Andrew Sullivan in Provincetown once and thought that everyone was really muscular and shirtless by accident.
I apologize for the digression.
And now, for the follow-up question: Do Palestinians have a right to exist?
Why, yes, they do! Any other questions?
Yes, you, in the corner, in the Center for American Progress t-shirt, please ask your question.
Do Israelis exist?
Why, they do indeed. And do they have the right to exist? You bet they do!
Now that we've established that Palestinians and Israelis exist, and have a right to exist, can we move on to something else? Such as an equitable two-state solution to their shared problem?