says he was suspicious of Bashar. He kept going over the history of
cooperation that, either because of the cloak-in-dagger circumstances or
because of Bashar's calculation, could seem at times wildly
inconsistent. First information had cost money. Then it was given free.
Bashar was also the only one with access to Farid's computer. Might he
have installed the keylogger? Nevertheless, Farid's warning to flee
seemed too sincere to ignore. Farid knew what his pursuers would look
like. "Fat, short, bearded men in their mid-30s wearing cheap shiny
pointed shoes with cloth trousers, hair pulled back with gel, half bold,
coloured pimp shirts, and a sports jacket on top," he told me "That's
how Alawite security personnel dress."
When they arrived at Farid's neighbourhood in Damascus, Bashar stopped into a nearby liquor store, where Farid shopped frequently, for a pack of cigarettes.
"That guy's an informant," Bashar said of the owner as he emerged. "No he's not," Farid insisted. "The guy who owns the shwarma shop is an informant. This guy isn't. He's one of us, he moved in recently."
Farid's suspicion had turned to paranoia. His landlord had told him that an Alawite "bookseller" from Lattakia was due to move into the flat next to his. The landlord had speculated that this was likely a cover for Syrian intelligence, something Farid laughed off at the time. When Farid led Bashar up to his flat, the new tenant -- a "fat midget," Farhid called him -- was unpacking and cleaningt. Bashar pointed to the neighbor and said, "mukhabarat" -- intelligence.
"We closed the door slowly, trying not to make any noise," Farid recalled. "Bashar went in and turned on CNN and raised the volume. What would I do if they came in through the front door? Should I pull a Spiderman and jump between buildings? Or get my big, ugly orange knife and pull a Rambo? Depends on how many there are, I thought, trying to convince myself I was in charge."
Farid packed his belongings quickly into a small handbag. Against Bashar's advice, he also took his laptop, convinced it was clean. He fed his cat one last time, telling the pet he was sorry for abandoning it.
"See you" was all that Farid could manage by way of a goodbye to Bashar, the regime insider who may or may not have been his savior. He hailed a taxi to a nearby station where cars wait to drive customers all the way to Jordan or Lebanon. The price for such getaways is high, but Farid had the cash. At the station, he found a cab and waited for an hour before another passenger, a drunken and singing Lebanese man, joined him to split the fare.
"All I could think about
is what would happen if I was caught," he told me "Will they gorge my
eyes out immediately or later? What about cutting my genitals? Rape?
Farid switched cabs, as was the custom, right before crossing the border. He reasoned that bribing a Syrian border guard would cost between 2,000 and 6,000 Syrian pounds, or $40 to $120.
"I walked slowly to the passport officer's booth, trying to act cool and just sleepy since it was past midnight. I could feel electricity churning around my temples," he remembered. "I'm ready to puke now. I handed the agent my passport. He looked up, pressed a few letters on the keyboard, nodded, then threw my passport across the counter to his colleague. I thought, 'That's it. I'm fucked.'"
The other agent told Farid to come closer. Muddled by a fight-or-flight instinct, he responded poorly. "What the hell do you want, scum?" Farid yelled, causing the second agent to curse back. He whined over his paperwork, threw Farid's passport back at him, and simply walked away.
"It's been a long night, please forgive him," the first agent told Farid as he stamped the passport with a Syrian passage seal. Farid got back in the cab, picked up his now-wayward drunk companion, and drove off toward Beirut.
He checked into a no-star motel and slept the sleep of a fugitive. The next morning, he logged onto his computer from the lobby, trying to contact friends outside of Syria. He wanted to get word back to his family and girlfriend that he was all right and not to worry.
Farid later discovered that, after his departure, a friend had come to his flat and found it empty, the door still open. He assumed that Farid had been abducted by the mukhabarat and was probably dead, only later hearing the truth. The landlord still thinks that his former tenant is one of the many victims of the regime. As best as Farid knows, the landlord hasn't even entered Farid's flat to clean it out for re-letting.
Now safely ensconced in a neighboring country, trying to decide between moving to London or Washington, Farid says he still isn't sure whether or not Bashar had his best interests to heart. "A part of me believes that he wanted me to get him in touch with the rest of the activists, especially those in Lebanon, while another part, the bigger part, confirms that this was Bashar redeeming himself -- more like avenging himself against a regime that made him lose everything he'd had in just a week."
"Now I feel useless," Farid says. "Like I can't do anything. But that won't stop me from trying. It's personal, my war against the regime is personal. Each Syrian's war against the regime is personal. The regime deprived us of many things, whether it's economic, social, cultural, political, religious, or whatever. We want justice. And personally, I want revenge, as that's what justice would be for me."