Among adolescents--prone, the world over, to easily mix judgment, hypocrisy, and naïveté--these sentiments seem particularly sharp. And for those who slip up in their treatment, the consequences can be unforgiving. "You don't get many chances in Africa with medication," said Yuka Manabe, head of research at the Mulago Hospital's Infectious Disease Institute and a professor at Johns Hopkins University. Whereas in the United States, 24 different drugs can be combined into many different types of therapies, options in the developing world are limited. "You get a first-line regimen, and you might get a second-line regimen if you're lucky," Manabe said. In a region where finances form the barrier to the availability of drugs, allowing the virus to build up resistance has dire consequences. "For every person that goes on second-line therapy here, nine people will [have to be denied] first-line therapy," Manabe explained--the alternate treatment is that much more expensive. "These are tough decisions. Is your first allegiance to the people who have been on? Or should it be on trying to give as many people access as possible? And if you blow it, 'Sorry'?"
Peter's sister, Beatrice, has never been sick. Nineteen years old, with delicate cheekbones, a small nose, full lips, and thin eyebrows, she wears her hair straightened and parted. When I met her at the offices of the Elizabeth Glaser Foundation, she was wearing a tight, sleeveless yellow T-shirt with California in pink across the front. While we spoke, she wrapped a blanket around her shoulders against the chill of the air conditioner. She didn't look like a woman who has grown up with the virus, and indeed, although she'd started medication within the past year, she'd been asymptomatic her entire life.
When she learned she was HIV-positive, Beatrice told me, she didn't really believe it. "I thought it was a bad joke," she said. "But as time went on and my brother still went on being sick, I really realized it." She was 15 years old, still in school. Overwhelmed, she soon dropped out and ran away from home, staying for a while with a group of musicians. For a long time, she behaved as if she had never been told she was infected. Medication was unnecessary--her CD4 counts were still high. She had a boyfriend, a young barber named Jeremy, whom she had met at a nightclub when she was 14. She didn't tell him she was HIV-positive, and she continued to have sex with him after she found out; eventually, she moved in with him. Only after discovering that she was pregnant last year did she begin to take steps to control the virus, enrolling in anti-retroviral therapy to avoid transmitting HIV to her baby.
Beatrice wasn't a model patient, she told me, sometimes skipping her medicine when she couldn't bear the thought of taking it and hence affirming her condition. She still didn't tell her boyfriend that she was putting him at risk. He found out only by accident, when a local newspaper published Beatrice's picture and name in a story about living with AIDS, reported during a counseling session she had attended. "He showed me the newspaper, the whole story about my family... everything," Beatrice said. "My brother's name was there. My mother's name was there. My name. My photo." He was furious, she said, and threw her out of the house. "He told me, 'Bea, please go away. Get out and go away. I don't want to see you in my life again. Plus your baby, go! If you want him to die, bring him here. I'll kill him, and [so what if they] put me in prison, because I know I'm also dead.'"
The newspaper story transformed Beatrice's life. "Whenever you pass someone, they call to you, 'Hello, I saw you in that newspaper. You're sick. You're HIV-positive.' I just keep quiet. I walk away. And then another tells you that. Another one tells you that." Beatrice seldom goes to the discothèque where she met Jeremy anymore--she'd see too many familiar faces, few of them friendly. Most nights, when she can scrape together the money, she drinks beer by herself in the small room she now rents, far away from her old neighborhood. "For me, nowadays, I live alone, stay alone, sit alone," she said. Sometimes she goes to a nightclub far from her house where nobody knows her. If someone tries to pick her up, she just leaves.
I asked Beatrice why she took precautions to protect her baby, but not her boyfriend. "I didn't trust him so much," she said. "At first, he moved with too many girlfriends. Whenever I'd come, I'd find four or five condoms. I'd find women there... But for the baby, it was so innocent. I thought of him being sick, me being sick, my mother being sick. So I rushed to the hospital."