Worst Dan Brown Sentences

A very funny story about Dan Brown's god-awfulest stretches of writing. Such as:

Deception Point, chapter 8: Overhanging her precarious body was a jaundiced face whose skin resembled a sheet of parchment paper punctured by two emotionless eyes.

The Da Vinci Code, chapter 4: A voice spoke, chillingly close. "Do not move." On his hands and knees, the curator froze, turning his head slowly. Only fifteen feet away, outside the sealed gate, the mountainous silhouette of his attacker stared through the iron bars. He was broad and tall, with ghost-pale skin and thinning white hair. His irises were pink with dark red pupils.

And on one or another interminable flight recently, I watched as much of "Angels and Demons" as I could stand. Apart from Ayelet Zurer, who is delightful (and I'm not just being ethnocentric here), it really was one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen, in particular the bit in which the priest flies a helicopter filled with anti-matter high above Vatican City and then parachutes back into St. Peter's Square. Pure unintentional comedy.