You heard of this thing, the Eight-Minute Abs? Yeah, well this is gonna blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: Seven-Minute Abs. Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see Eight-Minute Abs sittin' there, there's Seven-Minute Abs right beside it, which one are you gonna pick, man? Seven-Minute Abs.

Unless somebody comes up with Six-Minute Abs, then you're in trouble, huh?

No. No! Who works out in six minutes? Not even a mouse on a wheel.

-- There's Something About Mary, 1998


7. "The Scientific Seven-Minute Workout" -The New York Times, 2013

6. "Six-Minute Abs" -Diet, 2010

5. "Five-Minute Abs (Proven in a Lab!)" -Self, 2013

4. "The Four-Minute Workout" -The New York Times, 2013

3. "Three-Minute Abs" -Shape, 2013

2. "The Two-Minute Workout Works Wonders" -Daily Mail, 2012

1. "The One-Minute Full-Body Workout" -Health, 2013

Someone please get this down to zero. It can't involve amphetamines or self-induced hyperthyroidism. I have some rough sketches, but they all take place in a jet that's approaching the speed of light.

If you do figure it out, and how to monetize it, you'll never have to work again.