In Paradise, and in Dining Trouble

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Photo by Mike Nizza

It was our first beach vacation, and I had a promise to keep to myself. Julie delivered us to paradise and made sure we had a hotel room. I'd bring good spirits and an Olympian determination to find the best meals possible. Only problem: we were in Aruba.

It's impossible to have a bad time on the beach, of course: white sands, hypnotically calm tides, and eternal winds that force the most obsessive preeners to abandon all hope that their hair will stay in place.

When hunger calls, though, things get complicated. Somewhere between the beach and the main drag, serenity turns to insanity. Restaurants stacked atop one another--a Benihana here, a Mexican place there--packed more culinary clichés per inch than Busch Gardens. It was enough for a gastronomic Network moment.

Not that I was taking myself (or my hair) too seriously after she gently reminded me to get off my high horse to embrace the fact that Aruba, the tiny island off the coast of Venezuela, is a full-fledged member of the Caribbean time-share circuit.

Our lodestar appeared out of the blackness. With white lights too bright to be residential and too dim to be heavenly, Julie and I squinted to see what it was.

The island's ties to the Netherlands go back to the 1600s when Peter Stuyvesant paused before taking over Manhattan. Gouda cheese, for instance, is a favorite of local chefs, and supermarkets sell huge wheels of the stuff, among dozens of other Dutch products. The average temperature, by the way, is a cheese-melting 82 degrees.

On our first night, we shared a perfectly forgettable supper of swordfish and shrimp--we couldn't really taste the promised Aruban flavors--but the beachfront welcomed us and put two city refugees at ease.

Afterwards, we took a spin in the rental car, eager to leave behind the strip of high-rise hotels and find something intriguing yet completely unconnected to the Natalee Holloway affair, a tabloid craze in 2005. What we quickly found, though, was a road that ran through a villa ghost town and toward nowhere nice.

Just before I was going to urge a k-turn, our lodestar appeared out of the blackness. With white lights too bright to be residential and too dim to be heavenly, Julie and I squinted to see what it was. A hidden town on a hill? An alien spacecraft on shore leave (a Gouda/weather explanation, perhaps)?

After a few twists and turns up a hill, we arrived at the source of the intrigue, which ended up being the least alien place of all for a native New Yorker whose ancestors left Europe's boot around 1900: an Italian restaurant. We parked and went looking for a menu.

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Photo by Mike Nizza

Behind us, the California Lighthouse, a charming white tower and now a leading tourist attraction (the prior king, the "Natural Bridge," collapsed in 2005). In front of us was its former keeper's house, now called La Trattoria el Faro Blanco Restaurant.

The cluttered parking lot, dented dumpsters, and an utterly empty dining room obscured something extraordinary not just in Aruba but anywhere: a back terrace that spilled to the edge of a cliff overlooking the entire coast and the rest of the island.

By getting lost, I had discovered the perfect place for one of my major goals--booking The Dinner That Would Give Her a Reason to Wear That New Dress. Even better, the lazy tourists ambling around Aruba's many all-inclusive resorts were nowhere to be seen. A place that could be ours alone.

Ready to place my first romantic bet of the week, I looked the maître d' right in the eyes and staked a claim to a table at 6 p.m. the following night, just before sunset. My mission was all but accomplished.

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Photo by Mike Nizza

A full day at the beach later, I returned in island formalwear with my dolled-up date. Seated for mere seconds, it was clear that the sweeping view was actually far too windswept. Aruba's trademark winds were devilishly intense, prompting a string of unfortunate events. Diners lurched for departing napkins and wrestled with floppy leather-bound menus. Across the terrace, waiters strained to announce specials and rushed to secure table cloths with knots favored by sailors and boy scouts.

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Mike Nizza is an editor at AOL News. More

Mike Nizza is an editor at AOL News and former senior editor for digital media at Atlantic Media Company. Previously, he edited the homepage and wrote The Lede blog for The New York Times on the Web.

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