It's been three days since the leaked footage of Solange Knowles attacking Jay Z in an elevator rocked the world, and we're all still in shock. So The Daily Show brought on Senior Beyoncé Correspondent Jessica Williams to sort everything out.
What's Williams' theory? "Theory? Jon, I'm Senior Beyoncé Correspondent, I don't need theories, I know. That so-called security cam footage is nothing but another brilliant Queen Bey marketing campaign," she explained.
According to Williams, it's simple: the fight was "110 percent staged."
"Didn't you notice anything weird about that video ... Something weird about Beyoncé? She's standing still."
That's all the proof Williams needs: "This is Beyoncé. It doesn't matter what she's wearing, Beyoncé is never not moving. The woman is pure kinetic energy personified. If that elevator video were real, she'd be all up in it, arms waving, feet flying, fists pumping, booty bumping. She'd be like a Ninja Turtle meets a Rockette."
"In real life she's not booty bumping 24/7," Stewart protested.
"Excuse me, Jon," Williams responded. And then she whipped out her proof:
Beyoncé in line at the DMV.
Beyoncé getting a root canal.
Beyoncé getting interviewed by Charlie Rose.
"But if the elevator video is a promotional stunt, what is it promoting?" Stewart asked.
On this, Williams is less sure: "It could be another secret album, a new line of gold jumpsuits, heck it could be Solange's new kickboxing fitness program. We don't know."
Well, there you go.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.