Ready to feel ancient? People born in 2014 are already hours and hours old! Ready to feel even older? Here are a number of totally normal things that people born as recently as 2014 will never experience! (And now that we've written this, no one else needs to for 12 months.)
1. Kids born in 2014 will never know what it's like to have to blow into a Nintendo cartridge to get it to work, unless they buy a used Nintendo someday as like a throwback thing, in which case they can, although blowing in cartridges didn't really do anything anyway.
2. 2014 kids ("fourteeners") come into a world in which Michael Bolton never had a laughably horrible mullet.
3. They weren't around when Dubai set a record for fireworks back on New Year's Eve, 2013.
4. Or that insane moment in 1066 when English troops under the command of King Harold Godwinson swarmed Stamford Bridge, overcoming one brave, legendary Viking who briefly stood his ground and who to this day can serve as a symbol of the ultimate defeat of the Anglo-Saxons at the hands of the Normans.
5. What about VHS tapes!
6. Do you remember when Disneyland opened in 1955? People born in 2014 don't! Nor do they remember the attack on Pearl Harbor.
7. Kids born in 2014 weren't alive when Sen. Ted Cruz (in his first year in the Senate!) gave his epic filibuster.
8. And they'll never use rotary phones to call radio stations to request songs they recorded on cassette tapes they passed to friends in class where there are pencil sharpeners on the wall!
9. They'll never live in "B.C." times.
10. Fourteeners live in a world in which there has always been #YOLO.
11. But weren't around for that day in 1989 when President Ronald Reagan's vice president was suddenly sworn in as president himself!
12. Kids born in 2014 never did the Charleston, subverting adult expectations of what constituted appropriate behavior for young people in the early 20th century.
13. And they never had to wait in line for tickets to see Jurassic Park II in the theater when it first opened.
14. They didn't get to experience life on a prehistoric Earth in which actual dinosaurs lived and died, trampling vanished plants without any recognition that for a flicker of this eternity they ruled the planet.
15. They'll never get to enjoy a kid's meal from Taco Bell!
17. And they didn't get to experience literally everything else that has ever happened, can you believe it.
GIFs via Giphy.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.