John Goodman, hosting for the 13th(!) time, presided over an uneven episode, in which Robert De Niro, Sylvester Stallone, and the rapper Wale made cameos. Musical guest Kings of Leon performed "Temple" and "Wait For Me."
The president's update on the state of the healthcare web site is "translated" by fake South African sign language interpreter Kenan Thompson, and interrupted by Angela Merkel (Kate McKinnon), who wants a selfie.
The Three Wise Guys (Sylvester Stallone, John Goodman, and Robert De Niro) journey from Long Island and New Jersey to see the newborn king. ("I hear his father's in construction...")
Santa Claus (Kenan Thompson) drops by Weekend Update to address Megyn Kelly's assertion that Santa is white. ("Have you ever known a white man to wear an all-red suit?...")
Jay Pharoah, Wale, and the SNL cast rap about shopping at H&M (as John Goodman struggles to get into the store's tiny clothes).
Last call—eccentric barfly Sheila Sauvage is back; this time making her move on vomit clean-up salesman Vernon Crotcher (John Goodman).
Also: Drunk Uncle (Bobby Moynihan) and his uncle, Drunker Uncle (John Goodman), drop by Weekend Update to discuss the holidays; Fireman John Goodman attempts to teach school kids about holiday fire safety, but is foiled by Shallon (Nasim Pedrad), who's determined to go in the fireplace.
NEXT, on December 21: Jimmy Fallon, with musical guest Justin Timberlake.