Lady Gaga poked ample fun at her persona and portrayed characters ranging from a nerdy Apple Store worker to a spunky child actor and a spot-on Marisa Tomei. As musical guest she performed "Gypsy" and a disturbingly choreographed "Do What U Want" with R. Kelly. The night's best musical performance may have been her cabaret version of "Applause" in the monologue.
For the depressed U.S. president: Paxil, Second-Term Strength—powerful enough to treat symptoms like Benghazi, the NSA scandal, the IRS scandal, the Obamacare web site... (Not covered by Obamacare.)
Snarky nineteenth-century speech critic Jebidiah Atkinson (Taran Killam), of the Harrisburg, Pennsylvania Patriot & Union, weighs in on historic speeches from MLK's "I Have a Dream" to JFK's "Ask not..." and Jesus' Sermon on the Mount.
Crack-smoking Toronto mayor Rob Ford (Bobby Moynihan) finally finds a news outlet willing to believe his innocence. (With Kate McKinnon as 60 Minutes' Lara Logan.)
Blockbuster employees cope with the end of the world as they know it.
The Rosé Zone: bloodlust for women.
Also: Kim Kardashian (Nasim Pedrad) and Kanye West (Jay Pharoah) showcase their talents; and (not currently online) in 2063, a has-been Lady Gaga tries to get a glimmer of recognition from her building superintendent, Kenan Thompson. ("Sorry, I'm more of a classic rock guy: One Direction... The Smiths—both Willow and Jaden."); and the Worst Cover Songs of All Time—rapper Rick Ross (Kenan Thompson) covers "Cups (Pitch Perfect's When I'm Gone)"; Adele (Aidy Bryant) covers the LA Law theme song; Lana Del Rey (Cecily Strong) and Nathan Lane (Bobby Moynihan) cover Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me"; and Lady Gaga "covers" Madonna's "Express Yourself."