Who Will Miss A-Rod When He's Gone?

Jake, is this a trick question?

You can keep your Donnie Baseball and Mr. Coffee. Save your Jeter worship and chants of "Reg-gie, Reg-gie." A-Rod is the true "Mr. Yankee." Like the spoiled rotten Yankee fans who embarrassed themselves in the first two games of the ALCS, when the Greatest City in the World couldn't fill their own ballpark—and those who did show up booed—A-Rod is the personification of the team itself. Overpriced, over-hyped, and completely unaware of his own buffoonery, he's a rape of the future to pay for the present, and an athlete seemingly utterly uninterested in the vital subtleties of his own sport.

Rodriguez, a putrid 3-for-23 in this year's postseason, had his bad week keep getting worse. He received a very public slam from Donald Trump, another personification of New York City hype, followed by a reported pep talk from pal Kobe Bryant—another personification of a selfish player in a team game.

It didn't help.

Maybe Kobe should have talked to Joe Girardi? The Yanks' skipper benched the surefire Hall-of-Famer for Game Four of the ALCS in Detroit, and reports say the aging third-bagger will be shipped to Florida before the Tigers are even done celebrating the AL pennant they just won.

Dating Madonna, kissing his own refection in a mirror—it goes on and on. How about 2007, when Alex pulled the ultimate bush leaguer move—yelling at Toronto third-basemen Howie Clark to make him think his shortstop was calling for a fly ball. That was genuinely pathetic.

But let's forget all that rigmarole—and his salary cap-warping contract. Forget even his admitted use of PEDs. Maybe worst of all, Patrick, we can blame A-Rod for the fact that every player in Major League Baseball with the surname "Rodriguez" now gets force-fed a nickname of his whatever his first initial is followed by a "Rod." It's creepy and kind of gross.

How about it, Patrick? Will you be sorry to see Rodriguez leave New York. Or will you join me in chortling as he flies away?

–Hampton

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Sports Roundtable

Patrick Hruby, Jake Simpson, and Hampton Stevens 

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