One fan's pain is another's pleasure, Patrick. Out here in Flyoverland, hating New York City sports teams is a way of life, and the Knickerbockers' ongoing awfulness is a source of great joy.

Dan Snyder in DC is a solid comparison, too. Both men are not merely bad owners. They are very loud bad owners, spending oodles of cash on marquee free agents, which makes rooting against them that much more fun. Both men also act like they run fantasy teams instead of the real thing, as though flesh-and-blood players are bundles of statistics that can simply be plugged into a lineup, rather than human beings who must play together to win.

In a just universe, the Knicks suffering would be karmic retribution for the team's host of sins against the game. Some of them you alluded to, Patrick. Like giving Isiah Thomas—fresh off destroying an entire professional basketball league—compete control of the franchise. Or the thuggery of Riley-ball—a style which reared its elbows again in the NBA Finals this year when the Heat felt threatened by OKC. Maybe the Knicks are being punished for the shady way they got the rights to draft Patrick Ewing. Maybe it's just that they've spent 40 years making way too big of a deal about Willis Reed.

Losing Lin is just one more plague upon the team. It would be sad if it weren't funny.

There's just no good argument for it, on or off the court, and the whole mess reeks of massive ego. You've got the selfishness of Carmelo Anthony, who didn't seem thrilled about sharing the ball or the limelight with Lin. Plus you have the pouty, impulsive James Dolan, oblivious to his own buffoonery. He just gave up his team's biggest draw and merchandise-mover because, in three years, that player might get paid what Tyson Chandler makes now. Seriously? Over two weeks last season, Lin doubled the Knicks' TV ratings. Doubled! MSG stock shot up, too. Between Lin's first start on February 6th and July 5, MSG stock share price rose more than 30 percent. In the wake of Lin's departure and Jason Kidd's arrest, shares have dropped 9 percent.

Hey, did we even mention Kidd's DUI bust, proving the 39-year-old guard is still spry enough to swing from a chandelier? Who even does that—outside of old movies? Jake, Spike, Woody, and all Knick fans, with or without cool first names, can congratulate yourselves. Your team just got rid of the most exciting player they've had in decades and replaced him with Zorro.

–Hampton