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Actually, it's gone global. Which is unfortunate, because under the international rules, you're only allowed to yell "Is this guy serious? This guy cannot be serious! I can't believe he's serious!" as many times as you can in the span of 15 seconds, rather than the more leisurely 18 seconds afforded under U.S. rules. Going to be a problem at the Olympics this summer.

At this point, you have to wonder if anyone at CBS or TV Land has even read Needful Things. Or seen the movie. Plot's basically the same. Kindly man shows up in a new place with a mysterious thing that could make your life -- or daytime schedule -- complete. Then things start happening. Unfortunate things. Things sponsors wouldn't care for one bit. 

Also: tables without elaborate hedge mazes, a human chessboard, a discreet bowl where people can put their olive pits and not feel gross. But mainly, he's sick of the flat tables.

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