[A game and ostentatiously fit Channing Tatum stripped, danced, and flexed his way through the evening, while Paul Brittain, whose unexpected departure was announced last week, was conspicuously absent. The show took on last episode's widely maligned musical performance by Lana Del Rey in a Weekend Update segment featuring Kristin Wiig as a spacey but incisive Del Rey, addressing her critics.]
Cold Open—A "crazy-ass fantasy," brought to you by Newt Gingrich: As Obama's raging socialist agenda destroys the earth, Newt Gingrich (Bobby Moynihan) leads his "AdMoonistration" to a better future in space. ("May divorce be with you..."). Featuring Kenan Thompson as Vice Admiral Herman Cain, Kristin Wiig as Callista, Bill Hader as the Reagatron 3000 Droid, and Jason Sudeikis as cross-dressing stowaway Mitt Romney:
Lana Del Rey (Kristin Wiig) drops by Weekend Update to respond to her critics. ("I failed to reach the high bar set by past guests like Bubba Sparxxx, the Baha Men, and Shaggy...")
The Food Network's Guy Fieri (Bobby Moynihan) offers recipes for perfect 2012 Super Bowl party snacks (including Tom "Brady Bunch" Hot Dogs served in a men's Ugg boot, the Madonna-inspired "Weird Bucket of Mussels," and a tower of dueling chowders served in a toilet bowl with fighting lobsters).
Getting Freaky With Cee Lo Green—A scantily-clad Matthew McConaughey (Channing Tatum)—sporting gold lamé briefs and strategically placed bongo drums—joins forces with Cee Lo Green (Kenan Thompson) and "Colonel Nasty" (Bill Hader) to fix lesbian couple Nasim Pedrad and Vanessa Bayer's troubles in the bedroom:
Bobby Moynihan steals Tom Brady from Gisele Bundchen on the eve of Super Bowl XLVI:
Also: (Not currently online) Spike TV, the channel that brought you UFC Unleashed and 1000 Ways to Die introduces Downton Abbey (a.k.a. "Fancy Entourage").
NEXT, on FEBRUARY 11: Zooey Deschanel, with musical guest Karmin.