Here at The Atlantic Wire, we respect and value the social media editors who share the links that make our jobs easier. Sometimes, though, we have no idea what they're talking about. So after a day of staring at Twitter, we're sharing our favorites.
Nicolas Cage is many things: an Academy Award winner, a guy who will appear in movies of inferior quality in exchange for a fat paycheck, Francis Ford Coppola's nephew, a former castle owner, the star of a franchise about a undead stunt motorcycle rider who urinates fire, but he is not a vampire. A real vampire would be embarrassed by his silly performance in Vampire's Kiss.
We understand this is meant to make Bloomberg sound Orwellian and menacing, but we can't stop thinking about what a great older brother Michael Bloomberg would be. He'd probably even let us have trans fats on our pizza, because we're family.
Affability seems like one of those qualities a person who eschews clothes needs to have. People struggle with someone who shows up in public minus pants under the best of circumstances. Having an attitude only makes the situation more fraught with tension and potential misunderstandings.
You forgot to fall back. Sometimes it really is that easy.
'Recess for adults' used to fall under the auspices of 'drinking' and 'having the freedom to eat cookies for dinner, because you're a grown person.' Now adults seem to need actual recess time, as if they were big children with bad knees. You're alive. It's all recess.
If it's a hit, expect every network to trot out clones with titles like You Shall Not Bear False Witness, Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother, and Nor His Ox next fall. Hopefully at least one--probably Nor His Ox--also tries to lift the whole Mad Men period vibe.
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