ESPN Classic: Pete Twinkle (Jason Sudeikis) and his dimwitted sidekick Greg Stink (Will Forte) are back in off-color innuendo-spewing form as they host the K-Y Jelly Ladies Shot Put Championship—featuring appearances by Tom Hanks (as Forte's equally dimwitted brother Steve) and Carmelo Anthony (as female shot put star Carmella St. Knix).
Britain's "Knights of the Realm" (a.k.a. British celebrities knighted by the Queen) join forces to combat a dragon attack on London. [Bono (Andy Samberg): "When artists put their souls together, they can accomplish anything." Elton John: "Except a Spiderman musical..."]
Jake Gyllenhaal and a demented Nicholas Cage (Andy Samberg) drop by Weekend Update to discuss Gyllenhaal's new movie, Source Code. [Cage: "How am I not in that movie? It has all the elements of a Nick Cage movie: it combines time travel with screaming..."]
Elton John's visit to Buckingham Palace to discuss musical entertainment for the royal wedding morphs into a punk rock jam with Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip.
Bruce the gay cowboy (Elton John) rides into town on his fussy unicorn...
Also: Weekend Update—A surprisingly upbeat Qaddafi (Fred Armisen) shares his thoughts on U.S. foreign policy; Film buffs Dale Eberheart (Taran Killam) and his moody boyfriend Eric Sandrews (Elton John) discuss Sucker Punch with Vanessa Hudgens (Nasim Pedrad); Digital Short: Tom Hanks pitches Laser Cats, the musical (with Carmelo Anthony in a singing role).
NEXT, ON APRIL 9: Helen Mirren, with musical guest the Foo Fighters.