Cold open—March Madness is upon us, and this year, the competition for World's Craziest Person is especially intense. (Featuring interviews with top contenders Muammar al-Qaddafi, Melissa Leo, Charlie Sheen, and 4-time previous champion Kim Jong Il.)
The monologue—Galifianakis strips down to an Orphan Annie dress, flashes his pink underwear, and lip syncs to "Tomorrow" while flipping through a giant notepad of non sequitors. ("Iran, Iraq, & North Ikea"; "Dukakis 2012"; "I smoke so much pot that sometimes I forget to smoke it"...)
A new installment of Scared Straight: convict Lorenzo McIntosh (Kenan Thompson) brings along his creepy white cousin (Zach Galifianakis) to scare wayward teens Bobby Moynihan, Andy Samberg, and Bill Hader out of trouble.
The Kings of Catchphrase Comedy Tour: "If you know their names, you know their catchphrases..." (Includes a rare non-Weekend Update cameo by Seth Meyers as "Boston Powers.")
Julie Taymor (Kristin Wiig) drops by Weekend Update to discuss her firing from Spiderman.
NEXT, ON APRIL 2: Elton John.