The 5 Stages of NFL Fan Grief

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The Kübler-Ross grief cycle, more commonly called the "Five Stages of Grief," describes the distinct emotional phases most people go though when mourning a great loss. But the Five Stage model also applies in other life events. Like a bad breakup, for instance. Or if your talk show gets canceled, ala' Dennis Miller. Or when a professional football team loses an NFL regular season game. Like Sunday, when the football-mad people of Kansas City suffered a horrendous tragedy when their beloved and finally resurgent Chiefs gave up a heartbreaking, 35-31, snatching-defeat-from-the-jaws-of-victory loss in Houston. From a careful reading of the mountains of text messages and Facebook updates yours truly saw before, during, and for an entire 24 sullen hours after Sunday's game, we can reconstruct Kansas City fans' emotional journey—and see it as a model for how other sports fans handle traumatic games.

In control for most of the contest, the Chiefs capped a fourth quarter scoring drive with an 11-yard run by Thomas Jones to go up 31-21 with 7:05 left. But a short kickoff by KC was returned 26 yards by the Texans' Vonta Leach, setting up the Arian Foster TD a few plays later that cut the Chiefs' lead to 31-28 with 3:30 to go.

Denial, in the Kübler-Ross model, is a psychological defense. Used by people facing bad news, the idea is pretty much to ignore a problem and hope it goes away. In the case of KC fans, the classic refusal to face reality manifested itself in text messages like, "We've still got this game," and "There's no way we're losing!" and "Just one first down. The game is over."

But it wasn't over. It had only just begun. Picking the worst possible moment for their most feckless offensive sequence of the afternoon, Kansas City went a quick three-and-out—including two incomplete passes that took virtually no time off the clock. As the team punted, my friend Chris sent a text that could quite possible stand as the most concise expression of the concept of denial ever crafted in the English tongue.

"This isn't happening," he wrote.

Oh, but it was. Before the eyes of a horrified city, in breathtaking HD, with the perpetually ecstatic Gus Johnson deliriously booming every horrific detail.

On Houston's next play from scrimmage, quarterback Matt Schaub dropped back, eluded the Chiefs' rush, and found his favorite target, wide-receiver and freak of nature Andre Johnson, over the middle for a 15-yard gain. After a line-buck failed, Houston faced 2nd and 10 on their own 45 yard-line, with 1:54 left to play. No problem. Schaub found Johnson again, this time far down the right sideline for a 31-yard dagger into the collective heart of the Arrowhead faithful. Then, sweet mercy. A reprieve, a stay of execution—a yellow flag popped up. The Reliant Stadium crowd groaned. Chiefs' cornerback Brandon Flowers, having held down Johnson most of the day, applauded and fist-pumped. Flowers, along with pretty much every single one of the roughly 1.9 million people in the Kansas City metroplex, thought it blatantly obvious that Johnson illegally pushed off to make the catch.

The refs, however, called defensive pass interference on Flowers, a penalty SI.com's Peter King deemed worst of the year, serving Houston the game on silver tray. Five plays later, Schaub found Johnson one more time—in the end zone.

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Hampton Stevens is a writer based in Kansas City, Missouri. His work has appeared in The Atlantic, ESPN the Magazine, Playboy, Gawker, Maxim, and many more publications.

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