'True Blood': Self-Control and Snoop Dogg

HBO

If I were a music reviewer, I'd describe this week's episode of True Blood as a mix between Top Chef (LA version), the Underworld series (looks like True Blood may be cribbing a bit with the vampire-werewolf blood-mixing idea), and maybe a dash of Celebrity Rehab. I really hate music reviews.

The overarching theme this week was a bit heavy-handed: everyone fears their nature and has to fight it. That said, most of it was actually pretty well executed. And it's good that all the show's characters—not just attack-oriented supernaturals—struggle for self-control:

• Hoyt's nature is to run home and be a momma's boy; Jessica's is to accidentally murder people and hide them in the basement. They can fight their natures together!
• Related: Jessica asks Pam for advice on how to stop feeding before, hypothetically, killing someone. (Answer: the same method to make normal people stop eating: think of poopy diapers.)
• Sam's biological mom really hoped he'd be a non-shifter because life is so haaaaard for shifters like her. Not a very impressive excuse, but then I don't get the sense we're intended to be impressed.
• Terry's adorable list to Arlene for why she should trust him around her kids includes this pride point: "I have a diploma in anger management."
• Lafayette drags Tara to visit his mom in a clinic as a gentle hint that Tara needs to hold it together—"There is a darkness in our family" that he and Tara are strong enough to overcome, unlike their mothers, who are both completely unhinged.

The episode also included some moments of humor:

• A vampire afraid of a dead body? Heh!
• Jason's aggrieved shock that werewolves are real: "Oh, and Santa?! Is he real, too??" Maybe in Season Four, Jason...
• As a compromise between a total self-restraint meal of True Blood and attacking strangers, the King of Mississippi serves "cruelty-free" blood food. Blood bisque with red pepper [insert-gourmet-term-here]! Lightly carbonated blood beverages from people fed only on tangerines for 2 weeks before harvesting! Top Chef has nothing on this.

And now: please, please watch Snoop Dogg serenade Sookie. Please.