The real lesson in this week's episode of Modern Family: you want an iPad. Leave it to the adorable Phil to convert all the non-believers over to the side of Apple's latest creation.
Never refer to the latest innovation in technology as a "doohickey" in front of a tech geek.
Phil's birthday falls on the same day as the release of the iPad, and he's just like a seven-year-old kid on Christmas morning.
If you're going to get up early, do not close your eyes for "just" two minutes.
Claire tells Phil to sleep in and that she will stand in line at 6 a.m. to get him his precious iPad, but her plan doesn't work out quite like she'd hoped.
Sometimes a little snooping around is okay. Mitch and Cam overhear a neighbor through their baby monitor and soon Cam finds himself obsessed with listening in on the lives of their fellow neighbor couple, filling Mitch in on the scoop:
Cam: You will not believe what's going on at Jake and Debbie's house.
Cam: The people on the monitor! They must live nearby. So much drama.
Cam finds out that Debbie plans to divorce Jake if he has to "work late" one more time, and then soon discovers he may be the only one to save their marriage.
Sometimes it's better to just call the whole thing off.
Gloria tells Manny to let Jay win in chess because of this tendency to act like a big baby when he loses. Of course, Jay eventually realizes that Manny duped him, and Gloria reveals that she let him win on their honeymoon ("Why would I sacrifice my king for your pawn, Jay, huh?"). Soon, Jay is ready to battle it out with Gloria, but then (as his imminent doom is dawning upon him) decides that maybe some things are more important than winning.
Never underestimate Luke.
The kid is brilliant, okay?