AUTHOR: Raj Patel at Alternet
LENGTH: 1544 words
REASONABLE BASIC PREMISE: Fast food advertisements aimed at kids can be harmful and underhanded
SLIGHTLY RIDICULOUS HEADLINE: "Down with the Clown: Why Ronald McDonald Has No Business Talking to Children"
PATEL'S PROBLEM: Ronald McDonald's "audacity"
FAVORED TOOL OF THIS DANGEROUS CLOWN: "A wink and a smile"
WHAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT RONALD: "Ronald isn't just a clown. He's not just a pioneer in the marketing of food to children: he's also an architect. Without him, the food system we have today would look very different."
OTHER NAMES FOR RONALD: "A Hamburgler"
SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE THAT THIS CLOWN IS INDEED QUITE SINISTER: "The Corporate Accountability International, an organization which I advise, has released a terrific report entitled Clowning with Kid's Health: The Case for Ronald McDonald's Retirement (PDF), in which the survey data on Ronald is presented, and some tight legal and epidemiological arguments against him are made."
THE SOLUTION: Force Ronald McDonald to "retire" and turn him into "a symbol of shame," much like Joe Camel has become for the cigarette industry
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.