ABC

While last week's Modern Family explored fear, this week was all about the power of the truth (this is deep).

If you're going to stage an elaborate cover-up, do your research: Jay attempts to hang up a motivational poster bearing the words, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"—to which Manny responds, "Lots of stuff that doesn't kill you makes you weaker." It proves to be an ill-fated endeavor as the poster falls and kills Manny's beloved turtle, Shel Turtlestein. It's sweet that Jay cares so much about the progress he's made with Manny, but he should've at least looked on Wikipedia to find out how many toes a raccoon had before he staged an entire "crime scene." Kids can smell these things a mile away.

It's always safer to assume a sexy voice when reading Facebook comments: Phil's plans to get a drink with an old ex-girlfriend visiting in town get thwarted after Claire's jealousy gets the best of her. "She wants a slice," Claire tells him. Phil decides to prove the innocence of his plans with Denise (played by Hollywood's go-to quirky sidekick, Judy Greer)...by hopping on Facebook. "She's one of my 447 friends. Everyone wants a slice," Phil says proudly. But he's quickly introduced to the world of confusion and subtext that plagues online communication, first with Claire's accusation, and later the truth:

Money can't buy memories: Mitchell takes a big step this episode by quitting his job after continually missing milestone events in Lily's life thanks to his "suckiest suck" of a boss and lawyer's schedule. The current economic climate might have made the scene where he puts his badge around his boss' neck in the name of a dramatic exit (only to take it back so he could get into the elevator) rather uncomfortable to watch. But it's nice to know the writers of the show still considered that it's 2010 and...as Cam says, "I'm used to nice things—what are we going to do??"