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AUTHOR: Andy Pemberton at The Huffington Post


POINT OF DEPARTURE: Lady Gaga's appearance at an AIDS charity event, encouraging young women to be careful whom they sleep with and carry condoms


WHAT LADY GAGA REALLY MEANS: "I am celibate so you must be too"


EVIDENCE: Gaga's admission that she herself is single due to lack of time


WHAT THIS IS: "Megalomania disguised as social concern"


EXPLANATION: "It is a trait amongst the clueless, to immediately recommend for humanity the small life lesson that they have only just learned."


WHICH MAKES GAGA LIKE: Sarah Palin


GOLDEN RULE: "Whatever celebrities tell you to do, do the opposite"


ASIDE: "I have interviewed many famous people"


PARTING WISDOM: "Happy shagging!"

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