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AUTHOR: Hattie Garlick in London's The Times


LENGTH: 436 words


HEADLINE: "The obsession with Lady Gaga makes me want to gag-gag"


THESIS: Lady Gaga's talent is languishing under the crushing weight of her attempts at visual postmodernism


WHAT LADY GAGA DOESN'T DO: Music, despite her "undeniably fine voice"


WHAT SHE DOES DO: "Artifice"


EXAMPLE: "Read your pokerface? We can't even see it any more under all that lace."


NAME FOR ACT: "Haus of Gaga"


REASON FOR TEDIOUSNESS: It's the same "conical bra" Madonna wore 20 years ago


EFFECT OF PYROTECHNICS: Nil, except to "emphasize its lack of cutting edge"


THE LAST WORD:


The message too has tarnished: that with the right amount of frightening self-belief and furious media savvy, sisters, you too can call yourself an artist while singing the lines: "We like boys in cars/ Boys, boys, boys buy us drinks in bars."

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.