Weekend At the Movies Disappoints

extract movie.JPGMy recollection of Labor Day weekends in the past is that they brought us several blockbuster films. This holiday weekend there were none. I chose this movie because it seemed the least dreary of the lot, and I thought it might have possibilities. What a mistake. "Extract" is awful. Intended as a light, soft-porno-motivated film, it turned out to be crude and with little humor.

Joel (Jason Bateman), who owns a bottling plant, is denied his marital expectations by his wife, Suzie (Kristen Wiig). She pulls the drawstring on her sweatpants every evening at 8:00 p.m. If Joel is a minute late arriving home there is no party. Joel discusses his dilemma with a bartender friend, Dean (Ben Affleck), (totally unrecognizable in his scruffy beard), and tells him that he has relied on masturbation for months. Believe me, this is ugly stuff and a turnoff.

A beautiful grifter, Cindy (Mila Kunis), who is willing to con or steal from anyone, appears on the scene. An accident occurs at the factory involving Step (Clifton Collins Jr.) who loses one testicle with the other barely hanging on. At Cindy's urging, Step threatens a million dollar lawsuit. This, of course, would not be possible in most if not all states, because of Workmen's Compensation laws that limit recoveries so as to prevent such injuries from overwhelming a business. But facts are not important in this intended but failed erotic comedy.

Aside from his business problems, Joel embarks on a plot suggested by Dean to hire a gigolo, Brad (Dustin Milligan), to seduce Suzie. Brad, one of the dumbest gigolos you will ever meet, is very successful in his advances, having 15, count them, days of coital triumph.

This is one terrible movie that succeeded in making sex unappetizing.  I won't tell you how it ends.  If you decide to see it, you deserve to suffer.

Photo Credit: Flickr User Bobby Prom

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Ed Koch was mayor of NYC from 1978 to 1989. He's credited with restoring fiscal stability to the city and creating affordable housing. He's also a film buff. More

Mayor Koch saved New York City from bankruptcy and restored the pride of New Yorkers during his three terms as mayor from 1978-1989. He restored fiscal stability by placing the city on a GAAP (Generally Accepted Accounting Practices) balanced budget. He created a housing program that provided more than 150,000 units of affordable housing and created New York City's first merit judicial selection system. Prior to being mayor, Mr. Koch served for nine years as a congressman and two years as a member of the New York City Council. He attended City College of New York from 1941 to 1943. He was drafted into the Army his last year of college and served with the 104th Infantry Division. He received two battle stars and was honorably discharged with the rank of Sergeant in 1946. He received his LL.B. degree from the New York University School of Law in 1948 and began to practice law immediately thereafter. He is currently a partner in the law firm of Bryan Cave LLP and hosts a call-in radio program on Bloomberg AM 1130 (WBBR). Mr. Koch appears weekly on NY1 television and is the author of ten autobiographical books.

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