Crayola Nation"Thinking of the 2004 election as a matter of the old red states and blue states is a big mistake, and so is looking at our country that way."—E. J. Dionne Jr., The Washington Post, August 20, 2004 Apricot: Area code that does not contain a tow zone Bark: Site of a hair salon called Gay Blades Birch: Site of a hair salon called Dotty's Wash and Cut Blush: State in which the phrase "kasha varnishkes" has never been spoken except by accident Burnt sienna: Future site of Sonny Bono Museum Buttery: Dick Cheney hideout Camouflage: Waitress named Lurleen Cerulean: Computer disk that belongs to Los Alamos Cheddar: Place where Washington slept Cinnamon: Place where Wilt Chamberlain slept Claret: Suburban garage in which no rock band has rehearsed Cornflower: High school named for Jefferson Davis Dill: High school named for Angela Davis Espresso: Street corner on which Prada handbags can be purchased for cash French blue: Okra-eaters cluster Granite: Roadside crate of zucchini for the taking Grasshopper: Library named for George W. Bush Gunbolt: High school named for Geena Davis Lake: Zip code in which the words "Harold Bloom" have never been spoken except by accident Lemon-lime: Significant private collection of Star Trek memorabilia Melon: Cellar with Pilates equipment in original carton on floor behind furnace Midnight: Cellar with Thighmaster in original carton on floor behind furnace Moss: Place that could be mistaken for Canada Peach: Brooklyn Periwinkle: Site of final closeout Oriental-rug sale due to loss of lease Pesto: Year-round family-yard-sale cluster Pineforest: Courthouse with spittoons Pumice: School district with elected commissioner who has seen Elvis recently Raisin: School district with elected commissioner who has seen The Seventh Seal recently Rust: Prairie with no Granta subscribers Salmon: Jimmy Hoffa Seafoam: Man who does great impersonation of Ed Sullivan Shale: Kosher Chinese restaurant Sherbet: Michael Jackson Smoke: Annual Muskie Fishing and Arts Festival Stonewash: Block on upper Broadway that has not appeared in Law & Order episode Taupe: Stand of marijuana in woods behind high school named for Geena Davis Teal: Lutheran parish hall in which the word "booty-licious" has never been spoken even by accident Thistle: Rod McKuen Heritage Center Walnut: Neighborhood with Starbucks that can be seen from sidewalk in front of another Starbucks Watermelon: Front-yard-with-tireless-and-hoodless-cars cluster Wedgwood: Convenience store currently being robbed Whiskey: Berkeley, California Wisteria: On-schedule Amtrak train Ben Birnbaum is the editor of Boston College Magazine and the special assistant to the president of Boston College.
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