Proper-Name IndexVolume 294 No. 2 / September 2004 Abelard, Peter, as scholastic castrato, 125; sadomasochism and, 125; as father of Astralabe, 125 Allen, John L. Jr., as Vatican observer, 96; as Stephanopoul-ish, 96 Anonymous, CIA insider, on Iraq War as "gift" to bin Laden, 123; as neo-isolationist, 124—125 Arinze, Francis, Nigerian cardinal, as animist convert to Catholicism, 94; as potential Pope, 94 Atkinson, Paul, idealistic pig farmer, 153—155 Baby Jessica, as high school graduate, 151 Bartman, Steve, broken-hearted Cubs fan, 151 Beatty, Warren, as McGovern adviser, 86 Begin, Menachem, former Israeli Prime Minister, as apparent influence on al-Qaeda tactics, 61 Bennett, Tony, digestive integrity of, 162 Bing, Steve, playboy-philanthropist, as political donor, 73, 75—76, 83, 88; as "Bing Laden," 75; pre-emptive paternity press release of, 75 Bin Laden, Osama, as publicity hound, 64; as UN critic, 64; as cheerleader, 70; as political strategist, 70; targeting of Israel by, 70, 124 Bogdanovich, Peter, as boy genius, 122; as "endearing vampire," 122 Bonaparte, Napoleon, as matchmaker, 128 Borges, Jorge Luis, as Argentine analogue of Joyce, 143—144; as Anglophone, 143—146; as anti-Peronist, 145, 147; sexual preoccupations of, 143—145, 147—148; as "crazed pedant," 148; as "precious astrolabe," 146 Burkle, Ron, political fundraiser, on separation of supermarket and state, 88 Bush, George W., as futures commodity, 35 Carter, Jimmy, as hero of North Korean propaganda, 139 Charles, Ray, genius of, 162—163; as ecumenical cola pitchman, 162; casting couch maintained by, 163; on segregation among the blind, 162; heroin addiction of, 163 Churchill, Winston, fictional brandy-soaked statecraft of, 108 Cleaver, Eldridge, on relative gentleness of Oakland police, 134 Clinton, Bill, as micro-initiator, 33; as location scout, 74; as "first Oprah President," 126; as Eddie Haskell, 127; as mama's boy, 128; as "the JFK who lived," 130; policy infidelities of, 126; as indexer, 126; as sketcher of false dichotomies, 126—128; as sleep aid, 126; genocide and, 131; as Eisenhower Republican, 131; as Ray Charles fan, 162 Clinton, Hillary, as potential Democratic standard-bearer, 28; as often out of town, 132 Coleman, Jon, lupine historian, 121—122 Coulter, Ann, as Uma Thurman of the right, 126 Cox, Cathy, Georgia secretary of state, as novitiate, 35 Cumings, Bruce, historian, awkward timing of, 133 David, Larry, as "poor schmuck," 78; as "rich prick," 78; curbed enthusiasm for hybrid cars of, 83 David, Laurie, as "It Girl of Hollywood progressive politics," 82; as anti-SUV, 78; as celebrity traffic cop, 82 Derek, Bo, as conservative sex kitten, 74 Doherty, Shannen, as lonely Hollywood Republican, 73 Dole, Bob, as forgotten man, 126 Egan, Richard, as enthusiastic Bush fundraiser, 36; as enthusiastic Nader fundraiser, 36 Eisenhower, Dwight, inner demons of, 126 Farfaletti, Florence, as fictional "Florence of Arabia," 106—119 Finletter, Thomas K., on anti-Soviet preventive war, 152 Flowers, Gennifer, as time-capsule curio, 126 Gephardt, Dick, as object of desire, 128 Gibson, Mel, as lonely Hollywood Republican, 73 Giuliani, Rudolph, as potential Republican standard-bearer, 28 Gore, Al, as preferred candidate of the unchurched, 52 Graham, Billy, as secret Bill Clinton consort, 127 Grammer, Kelsey, as lonely Hollywood Republican, 73 Hazan, Marcella, recipe for braised pork shoulder of, 157—158 Heloise, epistolary hints from, 125; as novitiate, 125 Holybone, Roscoe G., as fictional fundamentalist martyr, 116 Hussein, Saddam, as used-car dealer, 38 Idle, Eric, as foul-mouthed political songbird, 82 Kaelin, Kato, as speck in the public eye, 152 Karzai, Hamid, Afghan President, pricey security detail of, 39 Kennedy, Ted, drill sergeant of, 44; "Bloody Sunday" and, 102 Kerry, John, potential presidential frustrations of, 28; as futures commodity, 35; "oomph" deficit of, 33 Khomeini, Ruhollah, Iranian ayatollah, as propagandist, 39; as theocrat, 39—40 Kim Jong Il, as vaguely reminiscent of Paul Anka, 133; maternal instincts of, 136; as ruthless dictator, 133—134; as object of pity, 138; as Joy Brigadier, 142 Kissinger, Henry, as yes-man, 101—104; as associate of Argentine baby merchant, 147 Landon, Alf, as vanquished presidential candidate, 27 Lincoln, Blanche, Democratic senator, as "Steel Magnolia," 34—35; as home economist, 35 Luciani, Albino, Pope John Paul I, fleeting papacy of, 93 Lustiger, Jean-Marie, French cardinal, as onetime papal candidate, 94; as Jewish convert to Catholicism, 94 al-Maarek, Azmiray, al-Qaeda terrorist, as poet, 66 Madonna, as get-out-the-vote spanks-person, 80 Martin, Bradley, as scholar of "a puzzled look crossed the faces of my guide and interpreter" school, 135 Maugham, Somerset, writing tips of, 23 Moore, Stephen, as conservative ideologue, 36; as Nader supporter, 36 Moynihan, Daniel Patrick, hauteur of, 131 Murphy, Francis X., as undercover Vatican correspondent, 92 Nader, Ralph, as Republican fundraising cause, 36; as Hollywood persona non grata, 88 Nietzsche, Elisabeth, as sister of Friedrich, 139; as Aryan colonist, 139 Nixon, Richard, judicial appointments of, 28; taped conversations of, 101—104; as anti-Irish, 102; as anti-African, 104; as anti—Ivy League, 102; bathroom humor and, 104 Nixon, Tricia, "Mayo" Zedong and, 103; as accessory to diplomatic Ping-Pong, 103 Norton, Gale, as Decorator of the Interior, 76 Obama, Barack, Senate candidate, as rising star, 30—33; as "skinny guy with funny name," 30; as son of Kenyan former goatherd, 30; as distant descendant of Jefferson Davis, 30; as self-portraitist, 33; popularity of among Republican dentists, 33 Olivier, Laurence, cutting wit of, 126 Omar, Muhammad, Taliban leader, as reluctant host, 59, 64 Perot, H. Ross, as Rumpelstiltskin, 128 Phoenix, River, stunning talent of, 122 Powell, Colin, as scratcher of needs and desires, 42; on necessity of geopolitical elephants, 44 Rebozo, Bebe, Nixon pal, laughter of, 104; as graffiti subject, 104 Reiner, Rob, as political operative, 73, 76, 83—88; as potential California governor, 88; as Meathead, 76, 86 Rumsfeld, Donald, as self-help guru, 40; as irony magnet, 40; as "spookiest person in the world," 76 Saban, Haim, as powerbroker, 75, 86—88; as Power Ranger, 75 Sartre, Jean-Paul, as not much to look at, 139 Selleck, Tom, as lonely Hollywood Republican, 73 Simpson, Jessica, as policy analyst, 76 al-Sistani, Ali al-Husseini, Shiite ayatollah, as accidental democrat, 38—40 Spahn, Andy, Hollywood political consultant, fundraising skills of, 84—86; forsaken eyeliner of, 84 Stein, Ben, conservative comedian, as Bush supporter, 36; as Nader supporter, 36 Streisand, Barbra, as blogger, 76 Strindberg, August, demented misogyny of, 139 Sweeney, John, AFL-CIO president, as no Cameron Diaz, 73 Tabankin, Marge, as den mother of Hollywood political consultants, 84; as Saul Alinsky disciple, 84 Tenenbaum, Inez, Senate candidate, as "little woman with big ideas," 34; as "Steel Magnolia," 34—36 Tettamanzi, Dionigi, Genoan cardinal, colorful surname of, 94; as "wee fat guy," 96 Vlk, Miloslav, Czech cardinal, as window washer, 96; as potential Pope, 96 Wasserman, Lew, as King of Hollywood, 74; as early admirer of Bill Clinton, 74 Whitford, Brad, West Wing actor, as political auteur, 80 Wojtyla, Karol, as Pope John Paul II, 91—98; as man from "a far country," 91; as warm-up act for Mother Teresa, 91 Wolfe, Alan, sociologist, "moral freedom" and, 53 al-Zawahiri, Ayman, al-Qaeda second-in-command, chemical warfare and, 62; as put-upon bean-counter, 62—64 Benjamin Healy is an Atlantic Monthly deputy managing editor.
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