Virulent homophobes are increasingly being exposed for engaging in homosexuality...there is a growing body of research that supports the notion that homophobia in some men could be a reaction to their own homosexual impulses. Many heterosexual men see this, and they don’t want to be associated with it. It’s like being antigay is becoming the old gay. Not cool.
So straight men are telling pollsters that they're okay with gay relationships because they don't want people thinking they're gay or anything. That kind of homophobia I can live with.
Actually, I suspect we're beginning to see reality come to the fore. Sometimes I wonder whether the fight over gay rights isn't partly a war between gay people. Of course, plenty of folks with fundamentalism in their bones oppose gay dignity and equality. But the virulence and passion often come from those who may have some personal stake in this. I'm thinking particularly of repressed gay men seeking to reinforce the ideologies or doctrines that can make their repressed misery more bearable. If you've lived your life on the assumption that homosexuality is shameful, if you've even constructed an entire career on this (such as cover in a celibate priesthood), and if you've lived a double life as a result - emotionally starved, sexually compulsive or shut down - your resentment of the next generation letting go and leading happy, contented "virtually normal" lives must be personally either threatening or enraging.
Most non-fundie straight men I know, once they get over the ick factor, are either indifferent to or supportive of gay men's rights. The Prada shoes brigade, however ...