Badgertastic!

Some poor English bloke is having his, er, nocturnal utterances recorded in real time for posterity - by his wife. His talking-in-his-sleep has a kind of da-da elegance:

January 21:

"You know, with you you you, it's all me me me. Well fuck fuck fuck fuck you you you."

"Yeah I do. I have SO much to give. Choke on it!"

"Deedoo. It's a deedoo. A deedoo...Oh, it's not a deedoo. I have no idea what it is."

[chuckling throughout] "I'm trying not to laugh. But your face! Your face! Oh, please look away. Please?"

Then this from January 19:

"My badger's gonna unleash hell on your ass. Badgertastic!"

"No, not the cats. Don't trust them. Their eyes. Their eyes. They know too much."

"Just look at yourself. Yeah, now look at me. You don't stand a chance. It must suck to be you, I'm sure."

His wife notes:

Yeah, I know, "Badgertastic" will have to go on a t-shirt. And no, I cannot explain the recurrence of badgers in Adams sleep-talk. Adam claims he has only seen a badger once in his life,, although we watch LOADS of nature shows.

And this:

"Cake. Mmmmm. I want one more piece. Just One. More. Fucking. Piece."

"Look at me. Yes, you heard me, look at me. Don't stop."

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!" "Jump. You can jump with goats. Boy does he jump high. They jump really high."

[I'm fumbling around with the recorder on the bedside table] "Too many sratchy sounds, scratchy sounds. Yes, YOU know." "I am awe-some. Deal with it fucker!"

2006-2011 archives for The Daily Dish, featuring Andrew Sullivan

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