America's top fake news source reports:

"In accordance with my activist agenda to secularize the nation, this court finds Christmas to be unlawful," Judge Reinhardt said. "The celebration of the birth of the philosopher Jesusbe it in the form of gift-giving, the singing of carols, fanciful decorations, or general good cheer and warm feelings amongst familiesis in violation of the First Amendment principles upon which this great nation was founded."