The Beast With Red Cheeks, Ctd.

A reader writes:

Perhaps the simple fact that you, Coates, Dreher, Douthat, McArdle et al are debating whether or not to stigmatize having children out of wedlock may be indication that it has in fact been irreversibly de-stigmatized.

A true stigma is so obviously and irrefutably a mark of shame as to make any type of debate irrelevant, no?  A given stigma is determined by the unspoken assumptions and customs of the members of a defined people or community.  What is a stigma among the Germanic Studies faculty here at Indiana University may be utterly unremarkable from the perspective of my dentist's oral hygiene staff.

Maybe this is where the disagreement exists: Ross's community is different from Ta-Nehisi's, however much they enjoy each other's company and respect each other.