Some perspective. Massachusetts still has full marriage rights; so does Connecticut. New York will recognize Massachusetts marriage. Obama has pledged full federal civil unions (yes, I know, I'll believe that when I see it and it sure won't happen any time soon). But yesterday, Connecticut also voted on a constitutional convention to revoke marriage rights. It lost by a big margin. I also think a lot of people will see what happened in California and it will change their minds. Now: gay groups need to do much more work engaging African-Americans. And one of the critical steps will be encouraging more black gay men and women to come out.
You don't have to tell her how big she is. You don't need to touch her belly.