Paging Mark Penn

by Reihan

Ben Dueholm channels Mark Penn:

To: Interested Parties
From: Mark Penn
Re: Obama's 75% Ceiling

While we heartily congratulate Senator Obama's campaign on their Wisconsin victory, the final results must be less than heartening to the Obama campaign.

1) Obama has a ceiling of 75% of Democratic primary support. Barack Obama has consistently won primaries and caucuses with only 75% or less of the vote. In addition to effectively disenfranchising the at least 25% of the Democratic electorate that is not voting for him, the Obama camp cannot be happy that their candidate hasn't reached 90% of the vote in any contest since the U.S. Virgin Islands on February 9.

2) Obama fails to win key demographics. Once again, Obama has not broken into the key demographic of voters who have been on a casino junket in the last thirty days. He also failed to win voters who had never heard of him, Wiccans, members of more than one bowling league, mourning dove hunters, white voters with "strongly negative" views of African Americans, and Vatican II-rejecting Catholics. These groups will only become more significant as the primary campaign shifts to Texas, Ohio, and Pennsylvania.

It gets better. All I know is that I wouldn't get on the bad side of a bunch of Wiccans. Last time I did that I woke up with hind legs and a beard like a billy goat.