The Perils Of Beard Growing (And Removing)

A reader writes:

I'm keeping my beard. And keeping it trimmed short. An unruly beard is an unsightly beard and properly an object of mirth among the young. But beardlessness can be equally funny, apparently. The last time I shaved mine off (once in thirty-five years), my son and his friends literally rolled on the floor laughing.  As my son said, "Dad, some guys are MEANT to have beards, and you are one of those guys." Shortly thereafter, at a fairly large party, my hostess handed out ballots and asked the guests to vote "Willard's beard: Yes ___   No ____." 

The only "No" vote was my mother's, who, incidentally, a month earlier had greeted me at a family funeral (the first time she saw me after the shave), by extending her hand, saying "Hello, I am Margaret Henson - so happy to meet you," passing on by and continuing to work the room.  Oh, and don't be surprised if your dogs bark at you. Mine did every time I entered the house until I grew it back. As for the "minimalism" of hairlessness, please. It takes a lot more work.

If you need tips, here's the best guide to growing and maintaining a beard I know. I'm not trimming mine till after Ptown's Bear Week next month. But my mother is very unhappy about my having one for the wedding. So the follicular surge may fade by the end of August.

(Photo: James Russell Lowell, one of the founding editors of the Atlantic with a killer beard.)