Former New York mayor Giuliani is always entertaining, and he hasn’t disappointed. The most remarkable aspect of his candidacy is its complete immunity from anything that has actually happened in the last five years. For Rudy, it’s still 9/12 and always will be. And why not? He hasn’t felt so significant since although his speaking fees have. He has no qualms about Iraq. It’s simple, after all. We just have to win.
His entire analysis of the war on terror can be reduced to the notion that we stay "on offense". Offense means anything aggressive, it appears. He wouldn’t rule out a nuclear strike on Iran, for example. He endorses “any methods necessary” to extract information from anyone who might seem like a terrorist.
He spoke of two recent terror plots one involving a handful of loons who wanted to invade a military base, another a crew of Caribbeans who dreamt of blowing up JFK airport (they had no weapons and no firm plans) as if they were an imminent threat to America’s very existence.
As his eyes flash through his wire-rim glasses, and he bobs up and down on his shiny corporate shoes, you can just see him drooling over the chance to fire a few missiles, round up a few immigrants, strip a few more Americans of habeas corpus rights and nuke Tehran. This is the man, remember, who banned ferret-ownership and jaywalking in New York City. Next stop: Falluja. Piece of cake.
A doctor tries the ever-popular Master Cleanse. Sort of.