Let's take a moment to assault reason, shall we? The latest, glorious twist in the Paris Hilton story is something that can surely bring us all together, red or blue, male or female, rich or poor. Whoever doesn't feel an ounce of pleasure at the sight of this mega-rich non-entity finally being treated with a modicum of justice has surely lost the capacity to feel anything. Sorry, Al, I know I should be studying carbon offsets. But far from undermining democracy, this little story about this pathetic, pampered wretch can only restore a little faith in the criminal justice system. It's almost enough to make up for O.J.

By the way, here's a site especially for Al Gore. It's called The Superficial. And it's currently going cable on Hilton. Bonus points: TMZ says her lawyer is filing a habeas corpus suit! That's some corpus.