Fighting The Fatwa

A reader writes:

Andrew, have you tried to breastfeed lately? It ain't easy. An indulgent former paramour of mine allowed me a few minutes of effort while her three-month-old was asleep. I gave it a good college try but got not a drop of milk for my troubles.

Oh, and the current girlfriend was none too thrilled either.

I'll stick to skim, if that's ok. Another reader reminisces:

I got married in Portland, Oregon. Portland is famous for its strip clubs (the best south of Vancouver, BC and north of Las Vegas) and also has a sizable Lesbian community. On the night of my rehearsal dinner, my friends took me out to visit some of the clubs (I was well behaved).  A lot of them were from the East Coast and they don't have as good strip clubs back there. The women were gorgeous and there was one dancer who had the unique act of shooting streams of breast milk.  It might sound weird, but she was really pretty and had a body like Jessica Alba (she was smoking hot).  The place went wild when she did it.  Upon collecting her generous tips, she told us that she had a kid a few years ago and the milk has flowed every since.  A friend of mine commented he was in the land of milk and honey.

Some women were also in the club enjoying the show. Another friend of mine went over to chat them up asked why they were there and she pointed to the dancer and said - "same reason you are."