Watch Live: The Washington Ideas Forum 2014

If Economists Wrote Christmas Cards

The University of Chicago asks a group of academics about gift-giving and the holidays. Their responses will melt your heart.

Cash is the most efficient gift, according to economists. Cash is also a terrible gift, according to economistsBy guaranteeing that the recipient can buy exactly what she wants, you guarantee that the recipient will consider you an unemotional robot.

That's why the vast majority of economists in the University of Chicago's IGM poll said it's absurd to give cash to loved ones for the holidays. "In some cases," Steven Kaplan said, in a stirring defense for thoughtful gifts, "non-pecuniary [not cash-related] values are important."

Non-pecuniary values are important! I guess so. But can you imagine a more wooden explication of love? Can you imagine a more wooden explanation of anything? Just think of the Christmas card...

It's ... perfect?

And it got me thinking. Could you design an entire set of Christmas cards from these famous economists' actual quotes to the University of Chicago? Might it make the perfect new line of season's greetings from Hallmark? Why yes, it really could.

"Cash is more efficient in a narrow sense, but holiday gift exchanges are about interpersonal relationships," Joseph Altonji explained, in a card that would be perfect for, say, coaxing your long-withdrawn uncle back home for a family reunion.

Princeton's Janet Currie offered an eloquent defense of non-cash presents serving "many functions such as signalling regard," which would make a great card for dissatisfied gift-receivers. Let's say: A Florida girl, passive-aggressively imploring her grandparents to stop buying Christmas sweaters that are useless in 80-degree weather...

... I don't know a lovelier way to troll a grandmother.

Stanford's Pete Klenow's pithy explanation that "a costly signal can be worthwhile" makes the perfect card for a long-term girlfriend not-so-subtly suggesting her man buy the damn ring, already.

Zales just found its new slogan. Unless Kay steals it first. Every kiss, after all, begins with a costly signal.

Presented by

Derek Thompson is a senior editor at The Atlantic, where he writes about economics, labor markets, and the entertainment business.

Maine's Underground Street Art

"Graffiti is the farthest thing from anarchy. It's very organized."

Join the Discussion

After you comment, click Post. If you’re not already logged in you will be asked to log in or register.

blog comments powered by Disqus

Video

Maine's Underground Street Art

"Graffiti is the farthest thing from anarchy."

Video

The Joy of Running in a Beautiful Place

A love letter to California's Marin Headlands

Video

'I Didn't Even Know What I Was Going Through'

A 17-year-old describes his struggles with depression.

Video

Google Street View, Transformed Into a Tiny Planet

A 360-degree tour of our world, made entirely from Google's panoramas

Video

The Farmer Who Won't Quit

A filmmaker returns to his hometown to profile the patriarch of a family farm

Video

Riding Unicycles in a Cave

"If you fall down and break your leg, there's no way out."

Video

Carrot: A Pitch-Perfect Satire of Tech

"It's not just a vegetable. It's what a vegetable should be."

More in Business

Just In