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'I Have Attended Champions School of Real Estate, Because I Am a Champion'

These are real lines from real cover letters. Happy Friday.

"If I could use one word to describe myself, it would be Team Player."

"My resume speaks for itself so I will not burden you with words."

"I have organized and conducted community service and missionary positions."

"I work an additional 10-15 minutes per week to perform administrative responsibilities promptly and accurately."

"I am interested in the Financial Analyst position. I currently work at Rusty's Camper Emporium as the parking attendant."

Please take an additional 10-15 seconds to read the rest of this article promptly and accurately at Smoking Jacket.

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Derek Thompson is a senior editor at The Atlantic, where he writes about economics, labor markets, and the entertainment business.

Things Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman

You don't have to tell her how big she is. You don't need to touch her belly.

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