Breaking up is hard to do, but your friend the Internet is here to help!
Here's a company that will deliver the bad news to your significant other for nothing more than a small fee, and the price of your dignity. The company is descriptively called iDUMP4U, and that's pretty much exactly what it does. Catherine Rampell from the Economix blog at The New York Times has their billing information:
$10 Basic Breakup -- "We will call your other and make them your ex using the information you have given us."
$25 Engagement Breakoff - "Yeah it's heartless, but remember the Runaway Bride and all the trouble she caused in Atlanta or wherever? This is a lot easier way to do it. When you are ready to talk to your fiancé/fiancée, we recommend you do however."
$50 Divorce Call -- "Sometimes it is just easier to get a divorce in motion by having someone else do it for you, some people might choose their mistress, etc. ... but we can do it for you as well."
Well, that's pretty much horrible! Sometimes I find myself arguing that social media programs like Facebook and Twitter, despite appearing to change the nature of our relationships, is actually helping both near and far-flung friends stay closer and more connected to each other's lives than ever before. Needless to say, I will not be making that argument today.
If you're interested in learning how the service works, you can listen to a sample call here (it turns somewhat NSFW once the girl realizes that call isn't a prank). The representative on the phone, whom I believe is iDUMP4U founder Bradley Laborman, has the sensitivity of Truper 18'' Machete, and it's really just a miserable performance all around.