An open letter to Cadbury-Schweppes

Two days ago, I discovered your new Cherry Chocolate Diet Doctor Pepper. My heart leaped. A song sprang to my lips. Finally, something to break the tedious monotony of the 97 Diet Cokes I consume every day. Once, often twice a day, I have been trekking down to the CVS in my office building that carries your product to replenish my stock.

Today, I discover that you are planning to discontinue this product--nay, that you already have, as today is May First, and Wikipedia states that you are only producing it through April.

I am shocked and hurt. I grieve. I thought we'd found something beautiful together, and yet as soon as I give my heart to you, you shamelessly break it. Ain't I a woman? If you prick me, do I not bleed? Have you no shame, sir? At long last, have you no shame?

Well, I have none. I beg. I plead. I grovel and abase myself. Please do not discontinue my new favorite soda.

Or at least, tell me where I can buy a few cases.

Sincerely,

Megan McArdle

Presented by

Megan McArdle is a columnist at Bloomberg View and a former senior editor at The Atlantic. Her new book is The Up Side of Down.

Why Principals Matter

Nadia Lopez didn't think anybody cared about her middle school. Then Humans of New York told her story to the Internet—and everything changed.

Join the Discussion

After you comment, click Post. If you’re not already logged in you will be asked to log in or register with Disqus.

Please note that The Atlantic's account system is separate from our commenting system. To log in or register with The Atlantic, use the Sign In button at the top of every page.

blog comments powered by Disqus

Video

A History of Contraception

In the 16th century, men used linen condoms laced shut with ribbons.

Video

'A Music That Has No End'

In Spain, a flamenco guitarist hustles to make a modest living.

Video

What Fifty Shades Left Out

A straightforward guide to BDSM

More in Business

Just In