An open letter to Cadbury-Schweppes

Two days ago, I discovered your new Cherry Chocolate Diet Doctor Pepper. My heart leaped. A song sprang to my lips. Finally, something to break the tedious monotony of the 97 Diet Cokes I consume every day. Once, often twice a day, I have been trekking down to the CVS in my office building that carries your product to replenish my stock.

Today, I discover that you are planning to discontinue this product--nay, that you already have, as today is May First, and Wikipedia states that you are only producing it through April.

I am shocked and hurt. I grieve. I thought we'd found something beautiful together, and yet as soon as I give my heart to you, you shamelessly break it. Ain't I a woman? If you prick me, do I not bleed? Have you no shame, sir? At long last, have you no shame?

Well, I have none. I beg. I plead. I grovel and abase myself. Please do not discontinue my new favorite soda.

Or at least, tell me where I can buy a few cases.

Sincerely,

Megan McArdle

Presented by

Megan McArdle is a columnist at Bloomberg View and a former senior editor at The Atlantic. Her new book is The Up Side of Down.

Saving the Bees

Honeybees contribute more than $15 billion to the U.S. economy. A short documentary considers how desperate beekeepers are trying to keep their hives alive.

Join the Discussion

After you comment, click Post. If you’re not already logged in you will be asked to log in or register.

blog comments powered by Disqus

Video

How to Cook Spaghetti Squash (and Why)

Cooking for yourself is one of the surest ways to eat well.

Video

Before Tinder, a Tree

Looking for your soulmate? Write a letter to the "Bridegroom's Oak" in Germany.

Video

The Health Benefits of Going Outside

People spend too much time indoors. One solution: ecotherapy.

Video

Where High Tech Meets the 1950s

Why did Green Bank, West Virginia, ban wireless signals? For science.

Video

Yes, Quidditch Is Real

How J.K. Rowling's magical sport spread from Hogwarts to college campuses

Video

Would You Live in a Treehouse?

A treehouse can be an ideal office space, vacation rental, and way of reconnecting with your youth.

More in Business

Just In